tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22389767741061847482024-02-20T06:38:43.583-08:00The Pocket Dimension of Horrible Fanfiction.A place where the most vile of fan fiction is brought to be riffed for the good of the multiverse. Or some asshole got bored it really isn't clear.Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-61294370787938594352013-12-26T00:09:00.002-08:002013-12-26T00:09:58.612-08:00The Christmas We Unfortunately Have to Remember
*This time two
figures sit in front of the theater. The same portly gentlemen in hat and
trench coat and now a young man in a lab coat who looked in need of a haircut by his front fringe.*
Ienzo: So might I ask what it is we are doing for this commercialized celebration?
Johnel:
Ienzo: I hate you.
Johnel: Calm down it
is just the sequel to that story I read last year with Riku. Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-46021218321412736042013-12-18T20:21:00.000-08:002013-12-18T20:21:00.547-08:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 16: Tasty Horse Burgers
Johnel: So yeah if
you paid attention Halloween apparently some evil mary sue thing, I guess, locked a few of us in here. So now from what I
can tell we’ve got to finish My Inner Life then do two other things. Lucky for
me I have help.
Link:
*Figure in a lab coat
on the other side of the theater just flips them off*
Johnel: Let’s just
begin.
I had spent nearly that entire Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-37003797061603696102013-10-31T00:07:00.000-07:002013-10-31T00:07:49.747-07:00Halloween Special: The Horror of FemTwo!
*In a seemingly empty
theater two figures sit in heated debate. One man dressed in black robes with
the remains of a mask sitting in his lap beard disheveled and a smaller man
with a torn lab coat plus hair that would almost make Flock of Seagulls blush.*
Ienzo: This entire
predicament is your fault you know.
Johnel: My fault!?
How are they…
*Just then a banging
is heard at the door Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-62114305656679889682013-09-09T19:23:00.002-07:002013-09-11T00:58:06.511-07:00Riffer Guy Part 4: Steal the car, Skin the cat, Slide in the backdoor dryReally this is just clean up until more meaty strips get back. Still I might have talking points in there somewhere. You know sometimes it feels funny. I think the awful like this gets always the bigger attention then the run of the mill like myself. Though I guess just on the hope I have someone interested in reading what I have to say I'll make this out to them.
Though first a little shout outJohnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-31055261883694931982013-08-28T15:02:00.001-07:002013-08-28T15:02:27.026-07:00Riffer Guy Part 3: Uncanny Valley for TitsWell I was finishing Takio on finishing the Case File and I realized something.....
So I decided it was time to go into the pictures file and do eight more Gamer Chick comics. Why eight? Well because there is a Christmas Special and I'll need to do that in one go. Also it might be connected to having just done a college course all about comic books and for it reading works such as Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-17253901979020123552013-08-20T21:14:00.002-07:002013-08-20T21:14:18.573-07:00Case File: Fear the Pony Lover
Johnel: *siting in
the theater* Ok so one of the clones today said we are getting an intern that
wants to riff. Supposedly they are supposed to show up around now..
Takio: *Pops up from
the seat next to you* Hi.
Johnel: Oh someone
appearing out of nowhere must be a day ending in "y". Anyways the papers
said bring some work for us to riff in order to test your abilities.
Takio: Oh look, a
Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-17133748703422366352013-07-08T15:40:00.000-07:002013-07-08T15:40:03.414-07:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 15: Faas Ru Maar!
Johnel: You know I’m
worried for today we get to see the author try and have some semblance of an
adventure. So yeah no one else has shown up so I’ll just do it solo for now.
A New Friend
A few months
later, Link and I were at Lake Hylia with our son and fairies on a family
picnic, when the most amazing thing happened. I have always Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-37307206401807913952013-06-28T12:24:00.002-07:002013-06-28T13:37:03.048-07:00Confusions in Equestria Chapter 3: Where's a Targaryen When you Need One?
Cabbagelass: So, here we are back in the constipated nightmare that is Tristan's New life in Equestria.
Pinkie Pie: and this time I wrangled Dashie into the mix.
Rainbow Dash: You know Pinks, this isn't exactly what I had in mind when you said we were going to a movie together.
Cabbagelass:
Anyways, here goes nothing...
I Woke up to a note that said that I won
Cabbagelasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12306611734222390247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-2121377199298135872013-06-18T22:13:00.000-07:002013-06-18T22:13:29.823-07:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 14: Tiger Upper, Bring out the Tiger in You, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger HOE!!!
Link:
Johnel: Don’t give me
that look it isn’t my fault Ganondorf isn’t on hand. Besides you have the
better reactions to sex scenes.
Link:
Life Resumes (Anniversary Night)
A year has
passed since I discovered that I was a descended of the Silverlite race. I
became appointed under the Goddesses to protect the Legendary Triforce along
Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-45965203881385299452013-05-25T21:31:00.000-07:002013-05-25T21:31:44.772-07:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 13: Flee now, flee now, the Silverlite comes
Johnel: Screw it don’t want to wait on the
others I’m soloing this one.
A newfound power
Johnel: Though does
of you reading along with the riff won’t be able to tell the way the text set
up on the source I go to get chapters from it is hard to actually at first tell
this was the title of the next part.
Emerging from
the Water Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-90096436960814985372013-04-27T15:49:00.001-07:002013-04-27T15:49:09.001-07:00The Quest for Proper Spelling Part 4: Our Pants aren't DeadJohnel: Welcome back to this special hell about the Holey Grail I'm your host and with me as always is my co host Ienzo!
Ienzo: Why the fuck am I back here!?
Johnel: Clones. Besides your other option was to preform Swim This Way.
Ienzo: But.. I... Just get it over with you idiot.
They followd the trail to a large cave in the cave was lots of spider webs.
Johenl: Could it be that the drak Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-28533564861479090112013-04-26T19:30:00.003-07:002013-04-28T17:10:26.241-07:00Riffer Guy Part 2: In Which I Rant About ThingsJohnel: Well it is time to jump back into webcomic hell so join me would you kindly. Also did a quick check at the other options on the page for this comic and found some cast "info" not really going to bother with the details but it suggests that the main character, who I refuse to call by that Mary Sue name, is 21. I'd want to call bullshit but my faith in humanity is somewhat low right now. Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-14547389644017707052013-04-18T18:37:00.000-07:002013-04-20T11:07:21.127-07:00Riffer Guy Part 1: Fucking Epic!!!!Johnel: You know sometimes reading bad fanfiction can be damaging to ones sanity... if I was in anyway sane. Though that is besides the point for today we are going a different route with webcomics!
Johnel: So I spent my time and found the worst thing I could get that wasn't porn. It's....
.... Unfunny slice of life about girl gamers that does more damage to their genders credibility as Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-69863294345986604882013-03-29T12:10:00.000-07:002013-03-29T12:10:27.577-07:00Co-Op Mode Part 7: Tie her to a pole until she's sober, tie her to a pole until she's sober, early in the morning!
Hey! This is chapter 10! This is after Hope and Sora kissed
but Hope used a spell to make him forget...
Cabbagelass:
Fuck………..you…..
Johnel: Well we are
off to a fantastic start aren’t we.
Honestly she didnt want to be she wanted to save her
friendship.
Johnel: She didn’t
want to be what? I know it implies she didn’t want to use the mind wipe spell
but you grammatically fail.
Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-54926536592310442582013-03-19T22:23:00.002-07:002013-03-19T22:23:53.337-07:00Confusions in Equestria Part 2: My Little Eyesore
Cabbagelass:
Welp, Twilight and I are back in the saddle-
Twilight:
Boooooo.
Cabbagelass: I
know, I’m sorry. Let’s just get on with it.
On
my way out I ran into the door - how do ponies open doors... - I reached up
with my mouth and opened the door
Twilight:
wings, dumbass. Pegasi use wings….
I looked over and saw pinkiepie bouncing around then she went into sugercube
corner
my Cabbagelasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12306611734222390247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-18673782519991249872013-03-09T23:54:00.002-08:002013-03-09T23:54:31.230-08:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 12: Go Out With a Sneer
Johnel: *Sitting in
the theater seat while speaking with a teenage girl, with red hair, and in a
business suit* Clone 91 read off to me the damages.
Clone 91: After the
failed uprising of my brethren the remaining 14 stable clones have been
accounted for with 13 now serving various positions amongst both Ienzo’s and
your own personal staff. Clone 56 was dispatched in “For Want of Nail”
Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-82783004146643971492013-03-09T23:12:00.000-08:002013-03-09T23:15:27.333-08:00Confusions in Equestria Part 1: Wings, Horn or RACISM?
Cabbagelass:
Jesus, a whole riff all to myself. This is what I call a promotion; just need
to find a good piece… not many Game of Thrones fics but good characters… plenty
of A:TLA characters, but the shipping could prove controversial… My Little Pony…
Pinkie Pie: Did
Somebody Ponies! *falls through the ceiling*
Cabbagelass:
uh, hi Pinkie Pie… fancy you falling through the Cabbagelasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12306611734222390247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-59221534635558914352013-01-28T21:02:00.000-08:002013-01-28T21:02:07.646-08:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 11: Four Girls One Fanfic
Cabbagelass: Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. Johnel's currently dealing with a situation with mad scientist clones and butterfly effects and other such nonsense. Let me preface this by saying I love every Zelda game I've played and the fact that this fic exists irks me to no end. That said, we will begin this fic when my guest star arrives momentarily.
Lea:*Teleports in depositing a greenJohnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-25472692984012976162013-01-25T18:37:00.001-08:002013-01-25T18:37:42.222-08:00Update: Bide Your Time
Waiting on part 11 but want to read something interesting?
Then follow the link below to see the latest write up I did over at Destructoid.
Just a little quick message talking about my personal thoughts when it comes to designing female characters in video games.
http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Johnel+Lance/sex-be-both-the-virgin-and-the-whore-243028.phtml
Enjoy and Part 11 is almost Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-43499705665652066372013-01-14T17:44:00.001-08:002013-01-14T17:44:45.484-08:00Update: Guess Who is on Deviant Art Now
So anyways my friend Cabbagelass is an artist and recently I've started a Deviant art page to host not only artworks coming up based on this blog but also a webcomic I'm writing will be getting preview stuff there.
http://johnellance.deviantart.com/
Go to the link above and enjoy whatever it is that is released.
Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-12261344350277699802013-01-05T17:14:00.000-08:002013-01-07T11:47:39.682-08:00Update: Part 11 Condition
Greatings one and all due to an incident involving cloning I will not be riffing part 11 for a Nightmare on Hyrule Field. Instead my good friend Cabbagelass will be sitting in on that part. For those who don't know who she is go check out the Co-Op Mode riff.
Finally I've just noticed this blog has passed 1000 views. The problem is the special thing I was going to post for that Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-60951111334717698552013-01-02T20:24:00.001-08:002013-01-02T20:24:42.597-08:00A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 10: It Looks Like a Potato Covered in Mucus
Ganondorf: Why is it
that I’m the first one back here?
Johnel: Link is still
in a therapy session with Chambers and Zelda is hungover.
The Miracle
Johnel: One.
Ganondorf: One? One
what exactly.
Johnel: You’ll see.
The next few
days were hard on me, the dizziness became horrid and I started to feel sick.
It got so bad that I had to Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-13563338574298113012012-12-31T23:01:00.000-08:002012-12-31T23:01:54.231-08:00New Year's ResolutionsHello it has been a fun time hasn't it? Just so short of time ago I started this little project for fun but look at it now. Under 1000 views, not a single comment, and I made it so a 16 year old boy now requires frequent therapy sections with someone who has been liquifed in multiple timelines. Yes it has been a good year.
Well with that I thought the others that join me in these little riffs Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-67666164752793124322012-12-25T00:00:00.000-08:002012-12-25T00:00:09.711-08:00The Christmas That We Wish to Forget
Johnel: Sitting here
in the theater on this Christmas Eve. Trying to get Skyrim to work on what is
most definitely not a TV. Feeling the spirit and speaking in rhyme. No
fanfiction to riff so I have plenty of time.
*Just then a lone
figure busts in with a crash. His hair is all fussed from an apparent mad dash.
Silver locks adorned
this young man’s head. It was Riku not someone who’s Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2238976774106184748.post-30168058971984585732012-12-12T17:30:00.001-08:002012-12-12T17:32:03.266-08:00Update: Well that didn't go as planned.Yeah there was no questions given for the Q&A special. From now on just give questions whenever and I'll do one when I have a good amount. Also for a brief little bit I'll let anyone comment again. So yeah that is all. Enjoy the next part of Nightmare on Hyrule Field it should be right below this.Johnel Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16799299075397430785noreply@blogger.com0