Sunday, October 28, 2012

A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 6: My Little Boar

Back in Hyrule

Johnel: Let’s see Dragmire has been reincarnated and Link refuses to do two in a row. Well guess I’m doing it myself.

         "Welcome home, how was thy honeymoon?" The King questioned. "We had the time of our lives." Link winked and a grin happed upon his face. "It was very beautiful, thank you soo much."

Johnel: Yeah on that beautiful bit I have one thing to say...

I said hugging the King tightly. "I really enjoyed the time with Link." Just then Zelda spoke up. "A fairy from the forest has sent word that the Great Deku Tree wants to speak with you both."

Johnel: Wait I’m pretty sure he is dead

 Link and I exchanged glances. "The Great Deku Tree has summoned us?" I said as I looked back at Zelda. "Yes the word came in this morning." Link looked at me with a confused look. "We had better not keep The Great Deku Tree waiting." Link inquired. "Jenna my daughter

Johnel: Fuck you.

I will have one of your horses saddled and brought to you."  I nodded and then the King and Princess Zelda returned to the castle.

   After a few minuets a stable hand came with my brown mare "Star Dancer."

Johnel: To hell with it I can’t resist.


Link helped me up into the saddle then mounted Epona. Link gently booted Epona and she took off at a gallop. I then followed. We headed to Kokiri forest. It was not a long ride, but we had to make haste. As we arrived at the entrance to the Kokiri forest, Saria was there to greet us. "You made it, The Great Deku Tree is waiting." Saria said as we dismounted. "I will have your horses tended to."

Johnel: By who? No seriously how would any of them know how to take care of a horse. In fact how many even know what a horse is?

"Please go on." We each exchanged looks then entered the Kokiri Village. All of the Kokiri watched us as we make our way through. Then when we reached the entrance to the Great Deku Tree's meadow, Mido the Kokiri leader was waiting. "You must hurry, the Great Deku Tree is waiting." Mido said as he ushered us onward. We walked down the path and into the meadow.

   As we stood in front of The Great Deku Tree he awoke from his slumber.

Ganondorf:*Teleports in* Curse it all!

Johnel: Oh hey what was the hero gimmick this time?

Ganondorf: There was four of the little bastard cutting out chunks of my beast form’s flesh like it was to be sold at the market!

"Link and Jenna, thoust has arrived." "Come come, sit I have great news for thee."

Link and I sat down in the grass and awaited for the Great Deku Tree's

Ganondorf: Isn’t he dead?

Johnel: Just run with it.

 news. "Link, "Hero of Time"-thou art courageous, ye saved Hyrule and hast taken a wife." "Jenna, thou art spiritual,

Johnel: What fucking spirituality are you seeing?

 ye lost thy family, then began a vagabond's journey. "Now thou hast taken a husband." "Shall ye seek the blessing of child?"

Johnel: Whoa  Deku Tree kind of getting personal with the questions.

 I turned to Link and we exchanged smiles as we said "Yes." "Since Hyrule is at peace now things are all well, but the Desert Man may some day return. "I give each of ye a Guardian Fairy to protect ye."

Ganondorf: Yes for surely I the great Ganondorf will be defeated by a glowing ball of light with wings.

          Just then two fairies, one with a pink aura and one with a blue aura flew over to us. "I cannot believe that fairies really exist."

Johnel: You saw them the last time you were here! Did you think they just had a thing for strobe lights during their celebrations!

I thought to myself. I watched as the blue fairy flew over to Link. "Long time no see Link." "How I have missed you." Link looked at the fairy and smiled big. "Navi, my old friend, I have missed you too."

Johnel: Hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen hey listen..

Ganondorf: WHAT!

Johnel: Did you know according to Word of God Navi was in love with Link?

Ganondorf: What…I don’t….


 "How have you been since last we saw each other?" Link inquired the blue fairy. "Oh great."

Johnel: Wait is he being sarcastic?

Ganon:*confused grunt*

 "I see you have taken a wife." "She is truly beautiful, Link." "You two will make beautiful children together."

Johnel: Because you know the only thing a wife is for is to look pretty and spit out children.

 The fairy smiled at Link then flew over to me. The Pink one behind her. As the fairy hovered in front of me her blue aura seemed so beautiful, so peaceful. "My name is Navi and this is Lilly." "Hello." the Pink fairy said. "We will be the Guardian Fairies for Link and you from now on." Navi inquired. I could not believe I was getting a fairy. They were only told in storybook tales where I came from. But as I looked at Navi and Lilly, I was glad they were not just myths. I was glad to have a fairy partner.

Johnel: Everything for the Sue of course.

         Navi then flew back over to Link and Lilly came over to me. "Hello Jenna, its nice to meet you." Lilly said as she hovered in front of me. As I looked at the Pink Fairy, I was glad that she was my Guardian. "Lilly, I think we are going to be good friends." "As do I." Lilly responded. Then I got up and went over to Link. I threw my arms around him and looked into his eyes. His eyes seemed to glow in the sunlight.

Johnel: If anything else starts to glow in the sunlight I’m fleeing.

 I laid my head against his chest and begun to think to myself. "A Guardian Fairy." "I would have never dreamed." "It is not a myth, this is real." "And I am very lucky."

Ganon:*Attempts to rip screen with tusks*

           Just then The Great Deku Tree spoke again once more. "Thou art courageous and thou art spiritual will be protected if the Desert Man should ever return." "Then your Guardian Fairies will help protect ye." "When thou hast thy first born, return to see me."

Johnel: For you know there is always room for more bullshit to be given out.

 With his words spoken The Great Deku Tree returned to his slumber. I held Link's hand as I looked at the two fairies. "This is truly a great gift The Great Deku Tree has given us." Then I looked back at Link and he nodded in agreement. Link and I then kissed before we started for home. When we returned to Kokiri Village, all of the Kokiri especially Saria wanted to know what The Great Deku Tree told us. Saria's eyes widened when we told her we had our own fairies. Even more so when she found out Navi returned to Link.


Johnel: Wait I thought you could speak in beast form?

Ganon:*Used Stomp*

          "That is great news!" Saria said cheerfully. "It is great to see that Navi has returned." Link nodded and a smile crossed his face. "How come they get fairies?" "They are not even Kokiri!" A voice called from behind. Just then the head strong Mido approached us.

Johnel: Wait so now he is acting confrontational again?

 "What makes them so special to get their own fairies?" Mido questioned. Saria turned and looked at Mido square in the face. "Link is the "Hero of Time." "He is special and so is his wife." "As the Sage of the Forest I remember what Gannon said as we sealed him the Sacred Realm."

Johnel: Well that is more just a repeat of the curse Demise placed but the author didn’t know that yet.

Ganon:*Confused snort*

 "He cursed that he would one day get revenge on Link or his decedents." "Link has already confided in me that he and his new wife plan on having children." "They will need protection if Gannon should ever return." "He would go after Link and his family first." Saria's eyes narrowed as she confronted Mido. Saria was always protective of Link and even more so when Mido tried to get smart. I watched as she faced off with Mido.

Johnel: Now we get the real reason of this scene. To re affirm how fucking perfect the main character and her husband are.

         When Mido saw the fire burning in Saria's eyes he knew to back off. "Well they still don't deserve it, grumble, grumble." Then Mido walked off. Saria watched as he went. "I'm sorry for all of that trouble." "I guess he really never got over what happened eight years ago." Saria then walked up to Link. "*Sigh* I guess he will never get over it."

Johnel: You said that twice you dumb green haired loli!

 She said as she placed her hand gently on Link's. "I will always remain your friend Link not matter what." "I will also help protect you and your family should Gannon ever return." "I promise." Saria said as she looked over at me. And I knew I believed her. She would go to the ends of the Earth

Ganon:*Looks at Johnel*

Johnel: We also use Earth for the name of our planet but really it doesn’t matter right now.

 for Link. And that made me feel better as well. We spent some time there while Link said some temporary "Good byes." as I sat and talked with Lilly.
Johnel:  You know what this whole chapter is nothing but….

         When it started to get late we decided it was time to settle into our new home. Link wanted me to see it while there was still light. Then Saria went to fetch our horses. When she came back we mounted and headed for the Lost Woods. Link and I waved goodbye just before we disappeared into the tunnel leading to the Lost Woods. We made our way through the maze of trees and into a large clearing. There stood the most beautiful house I had ever seen.

Johnel: Then and army of Stalfos popped out and killed them because you built a house in the Lost Woods you dumbass.

          My eyes were transfixed on the house as I dismounted. I ran up to the front of the house and looked it over. There was a white gate in the front with a fence that ran all the way around the house. A stable for horses was on the right side, a pen for sheep and pigs just off to the side near the front. There was a pasture behind the house to graze cows and horses in. And off to the left of the house was the well. The house itself was like a summer home. It was a light tan house with a white roof. The windows were Monastery style. And the front door was brown with the carving of the Triforce symbol just bellow the greeting hole.

Johnel: Greating hole?

And when I then went inside I was nearly blown away.

   The entire house was furnished. The living quarters had a wooden couch with cushions. A reading chair sat beside a fireplace. There was a book table beside the couch with an oil lamp on it. Candles in stands stood all around the room while oil lamps hung from the walls. In the dining quarters stood a huge wooden table with six chairs around it. A small vase of flowers sat in the middle. The kitchen had all of the cooking supplies we would ever need. There was even a spice rack on the wall. A small icebox was in the corner and another small fireplace was in the back for cooking. There was a spiral staircase that went up to the sleeping quarters. I walked up the staircase and went to see the sleeping quarters. When I reached the top I noticed there were 5 doors. Four were empty and one furnished. The one that was furnished was our Bed Chamber. There was an Edwardian bed(3)

Johnel: Just think one of those beds with curtains. Also I think even the house is a Sue at this point.

 with beautiful white silk sheets and pillows. A wooden chair sat off to the right and a small table with an oil lamp sat to the left of the chair. Silk curtains lined the window. And award robe closet stood in the left side of the room.

Johnel: For apparently they give out robes as awards in this universe.

         I was so over overjoyed with the sight that when Link came up behind me I threw my arms around him, told him I loved him and kissed him passionately. I knew that this was the place we were going to raise our family. The place I was going to spend the rest of my life in. Link had given me a beautiful gift. A gift of love.

Johnel: Well that was bad but not the worst chapter so far what did you think Dragmire?

Ganon:*Used Roar… the part ended*

1 comment:

solar penguin said...

An Edwardian bed? What...!?! An Edwardian bed??? Seriously?

The Edwardian era was in the TWENTIETH CENTURY! That's long after four-poster beds went out of fashion! Why didn't she say "an Elizabethan bed" or "a Jacobean bed" or any era when people actually slept in four-posters?

Sorry, I know this is years after you made the original post, and you probably don't want to think about this fic any more, but I'm a big history geek and when people get simple, basic history like that wrong I just get really mad.