Friday, March 29, 2013

Co-Op Mode Part 7: Tie her to a pole until she's sober, tie her to a pole until she's sober, early in the morning!

Hey! This is chapter 10! This is after Hope and Sora kissed but Hope used a spell to make him forget...

Cabbagelass: Fuck…………..

Johnel: Well we are off to a fantastic start aren’t we.

Honestly she didnt want to be she wanted to save her friendship.

Johnel: She didn’t want to be what? I know it implies she didn’t want to use the mind wipe spell but you grammatically fail.

 But now this is after, and Hope is kinda worried if Sora still remembers somehow. And Hope has to explore Neverland by herself. Hope ya like it!( :

Johnel: She planned this easy to use pun structure didn’t she.


"Goodmorning Hope!" Donald said. She was asleep on the chair in the control room.

"Uhh..goodmorning Donald." She said as she streched out her arms and yawned.

"So what world did ya pick?" Gofy asked as he walked in.

Johnel: Hey while it is doing nothing interesting why does the theater smell like wet cat?

Cabbagelass: Uh…. It was late and I was tired….

Johnel: That doesn’t answer my ques….

Cabbagelass: YESITDOES!

"Im not sure..i was thinking of this Neverland..but now im not so sure.." Hope said as she grabbed the map and pointed to Neverland. Then someone put the hands infront of Hope's eyes.


"Goodmorning." The person said with their hands still over her eyes. Donald and Gofy started to chuckle.

"Hey Roxas.." Hope said as she touched his hands.

"Dang it! How did you know it was me?" Roxas asked as he chuckled.

Johnel: How many Jesse McCartney voiced characters do you know?

"Well..with my new magic i have my ways around.." Hope said as she giggled and Roxas smiled.

Cabbagelass: You would know your ways around wouldn’t you miss triangle.

 "Goodmorning everyone!" Sora yelled as he walked in. Hope smiled then she rememberd. *Does he still remember the kiss..Nah, i put a forget spell

Cabbagelass: A forget spell with the thousands of words available to you from all human language that is the generic name you come up with?

on his..but what if it didnt work? What if he still remembers? What am i gonna do? Ughh..Chill Hope..what if he forgot? Well stop thinking of the worst..* She smiled at Sora after she thought about it.

Johnel: Yes she enjoys indoctrinating her captives.

"Hope i think we should go there..according to the map its the closest world.." Donald said. Hope nodded and she pushed a button that said "Neverland".

Johnel: Wait didn’t you already have a conversation about going to Never Never Land?

"Sora..can i talk to you.." Hope said and Sora nodded and followed her out. They walked into the living room and they sat on the sofa.

"Whats up Hope?" Sora asked. Hope bit her bottom lip and hoped for the best.

Johnel: You know it is less that she is making the puns and more about how uncreative and overused they are.

"What did you do last night?" She managed to get the words out.

Johnel: *As Sora* I wasn’t that drunk last night..

Cabbagelass: *As Hope* You put on an outfit of pots and pans  and told me to bite your shiny metal ass… so I did.

" not sure i forgot why? Did i do anything bad?" Sora asked. Hope shook her head.

Cabbagelass: Well I’m sure those orphans will forgive you.

"Nah..i was wondering.." She said as she got up and started walking back to the control room. Sora followed behind her *Why does she wanna know what i did yesterday? Did i do anything bad? or what?* Sora thought. Hope walked down the hall with one hand holding her elbow. She was looking down, glad..but sorta sad that Sora didnt remember about the kiss.

Johnel: Then I don’t know maybe you shouldn’t have use the mind wipe to begin with.

"Ouch!" Hope yelled as Roxas bumbed into her and they both fell. Roxas looked at her and she looked at him. He got up and helped her up.


"Sorry Hope.." Roxas said. She smiled.

"Its alright.." She said as they were still holding hands. Then the gummy ship started to shake and Hope almost fell but Roxas caught her in his arms.


"You okay?" Roxas asked when the shaking stopped.

"Yeah thanks..lets go see what that was.." Hope said as Roxas, Sora and her were running to the control room.

"What was that?" Roxas asked.


"Well we landed on Neverland..but heartless are attacking the ship..and theres alot of them!" Donald said. They all ran outside to find heartless.

"Whoa!" Hope yelled as she saw how many there were.

"It looks like theres more that 2 million!" Sora yelled. He looked at Hope.

Cabbagelass: How does that even?

"Go and find Peter Pan!" Sora said as he started attacking the heartless. She ran up to him.

Johnel: Yes for the forever twelve year old will surely be able to fight off millions of dark creatures.

"Why cant you guys come with me? I mean i dont even know who this Peter Pan guy is."


Johnel: You know maybe you should figure out how the hell to get past that army first.

 Hope said as she summond a magic ball in her hand and she threw it causing alot of heartless to dissappear.


"Because if we leave the heartless will get to the ship.." Sora said after he took out a few heartless.

“But what if something bad happens to me? No one will be there to help me.." She said.

Cabbagelass: Good for you..

"Just go! I promise if you do get into trouble said a exploding ball

Cabbagelass: Good thing our heroine speaks Hadoukenese.

 in the air to let me know you are in trouble and i will stop what im doing and i will run to you..I promise i wont let anything bad happen to you..i cant imagine my life without you.." Sora said and Hope blushed. So did Sora.

Johnel: We get it you're generic love interests.

"Well i mean you and everyone else.." Sora tried to play it off.

"Okay..well..just dont get hurt, i cant imagine my life without you ethier..and everyone else." Hope said. Sora took out heartless then he hugged her quickly and he went back to the heartless. Hope jumped on top of a heartless then she ran across their heads until she reached the end. She started to run around. *So who's Peter Pan?* Hope thought. She ran and saw a guy dressed as a pirate being attacked by a heartless.

"Oh no!" Hope yelled. But another pirate came and took it out. She ran to them.


"Excuse me do you know Peter Pan?" Hope asked the pirate. He laughed and he looked at her.

"That th-" He stopped himself and looked at her necklace. *Thats real ruby..its worth alot of money.* He thought.

Johnel: A. no it isn’t and B. where the fuck you going to spend that money?

"Why yes i do..allow me to introduce myself..

Johnel: *Singing* I’m a man of wealth and taste.

Im Captain Hook" He said as he held out a hook *Im guessing thats why thats his name..*


 Hope thought as she shooked the hook.

"Im Hope.." She said as she pulled back her hand.

"Oh..yes Peter Pan is on my boat..if you would please follow me to him." Hook said as he turned around and started walking. He had a smirk and they got to the boat. Hope looked around.

Johnel: You know they did kind of fuck up by sending the new character into a world in which you know the villain is still alive and could trick her.

"Where is he?" Hope asked. Hook thought of something.

 "I will bring him to you if you would please wait near that pole over there..i just get alittle nevous.."

Cabbagelass: Someone is compensating for something.

Hook said and Hope nodded. She walked to the pole and Hook went into a room. Hope leaned against a pole and two pirates came behind her and tied her hands together.

"Hey!" She yelled. Then Hook came out with a evil smile.

"Hey tell them to let go!" She yelled but he just went to her and pulled off her necklace.

Johnel: So she has powerful dark magic and can indoctrinate people but she can’t defeat rope? MAKES FUCKING SENSE TO ME!

"Tie her to the pole..she wanted he must come for her sooner or later." Hook said as the men did what he said. She waited atleast an hour and a flying boy came and landed infront of her.

Johnel: Nah really it was that easy?

"Hello..Im Peter Pan." The boy said and Hope smiled with joy.

"Im Hope can you please help me? That-" Hope stopped and rememberd.

"Peter Pan you have to get out of here its a trap!"


Hope yelled. But she was too late. A pirate came and grabbed him and tied him next to her. She looked at him and he looked at her. He smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" Hope asked.

"You have beautiful eyes." He said and she blushed.

Cabbagelass: OH NOT YOU TOO!

Johnel: Has he even hit puberty?

"Umm this isnt the time to try to flirt.." She said.

"Sorry.." He said with a laugh. Then a little fairy came and untied Peter Pan. He went to Hope and he untied the ropes. But as soon a he was done they were surrounded by a bunch of pirates. Peter Pan frowned.

 "I dont think we'll be able to take them all."

Johnel: It isn’t like you fight them all the time for fun or anything.

He said as he looked at Hope. She looked at him then back at the pirates. She was scared. Then she rememberd. *Sora!* She thought. She made a magic ball and she threw it up. It exploded in the air.

Johnel: Or you know she could have just shot that at the pirates and killed them.

Sora and everyone else was still fighting the heartless. Sora looked up and saw it.

"Hope!" Sora yelled and that made everyone look at him.

"I have to go!" Sora yelled. He ran and followed the smoke from the explosion and he saw people fighting on a boat.

"How am i gonna get across?" Sora said. Then he saw a little fairy.

"Tinker Bell!" He yelled and she put pixie dust on him and they began to fly to the boat.

"We can do this forever!" Peter Pan yelled as he was fighting. Hope nodded she was tierd then she heard a voice that made her full of joy.



 Hey guys this was the 10th chapter of Sora's Love Life..What did you think of it ? What would you give it on a scale of 1-10?

Cabbagelass: Negative fifteen.

Johnel: The anti-life equation.

 Let me know whatcha think! Okay? Thanks! Love ya!


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Confusions in Equestria Part 2: My Little Eyesore

Cabbagelass: Welp, Twilight and I are back in the saddle-
Twilight: Boooooo.
Cabbagelass: I know, I’m sorry. Let’s just get on with it.
On my way out I ran into the door - how do ponies open doors... - I reached up with my mouth and opened the door
Twilight: wings, dumbass. Pegasi use wings….

I looked over and saw pinkiepie bouncing around then she went into sugercube corner
my stomache started to rumble so I said to myself, "why not"


I walked into sugercube corner and walked over to the counter, I said, "hi im new here, can I have a look at the menu?"
Pinkiepie said, "HI OMG
Twilight: What’s an O.M.G?”
Cabbagelass: it stands for  Oh My Judeo-Christian-Deity-That –No-One-In-Equestria-Or-The-Majority-Of-Fantasy-Universes-For-That-Matter-Worship-And-Yet-Recieves-Anachronistic-Title-Drops-In-ManyA-Poorly-Written-Fanfiction.
Twilight: that last part didn’t start with a “g”.
Cabbagelass: You asked for a definition and I provided one.
Twilight :

I said, "I know"

Cabbagelass: And there goes any possibility of being inconspicuous. You know, that THING you were supposed to accomplish by permanently abandoning your humanity and everyone you love!
She said, "what you cant know, u just got here!"
Panicking a bit I said, "nevermind, can I get a muffin?"
Twilight: hmm, a ditzy Pegasus with a craving for muffins? He should ask Derpy Hooves out sometime…
she smiled and said "absolutly-tootly!"
About a minute later she comes back with a muffin,
Not realizing how hungry I am, it disappears within seconds


"sorry, I guess I was just a bit hungry, but listen can u round up rarity applejack rainbowdash twillightsparkle and fluttershy,

I have something important to tell u all"
She said, "Sure!"
Then she bounced away, I got so bored waiting for them to get back

Cabbagelass: that that I forgot to finish this Celestia-awful fan fiction-the end!

that I fell asleep on the floor
"is he dead?" I heard somepony say
Cabbagelass: oh how marvelous that would be…
"no - look u just woke him up - good job rarity"
"Oh good your all here!" I said
Twilight: Your… who possesses this “all here” of which you speak?!
Twillight said, "have any ideas what These things are?" as twillight pulled nick and riley out of nowhere
Cabbagelass: Right, who are these people?
Twilight: and why are you introducing them in the worst possible way ever?
so I said, "Ok the truth is I was going to my job, im really a human like they are,
Cabbagelass: that’s assuming the mane six know what humans are and are not instinctively skittish of us!
trixie just used her magic to transform me"
Rarity diecdied
Twilight: That sounds much more violent than the author probably intended…
Cabbagelass: you should see the gorefic my friend is working on. Almost everyone you know diecdies in it!

 to chime in, "and she chose wonderful coulers!"
Cabbagelass: Rarity: I guess having a taste in fashion gives her ADD.
"wut?" I said
Twilight: is that a word?
Rarity pulled out a mirror and showed me, I had white fur with green hair and wings!
Cabbagelass: sounds like a lousy OC to me…
"this looks awesome!" I exclaimed
"oh also can u turn nick and riley into ponies, they need to be discised too"

Twilight: well here we go again, breaking both the rules and ethics of magic…
Twilight: can’t even spell my name right…
nodded, riley was a earth pony with pink skin and yellow hair
Nick had a yellow horn, with red fur and purple hair

Cabbagelass: *singing* My Little Eyesore~ My Little Eyesore~
"oh also trixie said we need to stay with some of u, can we? I dont think living in the same house would be a good idea tho,
Twilight: w-why? Seriously? That would probably be the best possible thing now that all three of you have to ajust to our culture and  would cut down on living costs an-
Cabbagelass: just let the stupid happen Twilight, let the stupid happen…
 so can we live with any of u?"
we talked for a while and we diecided what we are going to do,


Nick is going to stay with applejack

Cabbagelass: wait, shouldn’t Nick stay with a unicorn? After all someone has to teach him how magic works and how not to-
Twilight: let the stupid happen, remember?
Cabbagelass: …touché.

Riley is going to stay with fluttershy
And im going to stay with rainbowdash
At the farm with nick...
Twilight: how can you do a jumpcut like that if this story is in first-person?!

In the barn applejack said, "ok Sugercube this is where yall gunna B sleeping,

Cabbagelass: as opposed to A or C sleeping?
Twilight: *facehoof*
 untill you get married and Y'all that then you have to sleep on the floor"
Cabbagelass: Wow, this does smack of awkward right here.
Nick said, "fine... well lets go meet up with the others then becuase theres not much else is there
Big mac comes in, "Nope."
Twilight: and there’s our pointless cameo  of the chapter…
At Fluttershys cottage with Riley...
Fluttershy shows riley a couch, "you can sleep on this if you like, and I have some blankets in the closet if u need them"
Cabbagelass: yeah this is awkward. I mean, with Applejack it was softened by the barn-thing and her massive family, but Fluttershy is living relatively alone, and letting her long-term stallion roommate sleep on the couch. I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid…
Riley said, "alright then thanks fluttershy!"
And finnaly at rainbowdashs house with me :D
Twilight: why did he punctuate his sentence with a colon and an uppercase d?
Cabbagelass: because his only writing experience is asking his friends how drunk he was last night via text.
Rainbowdash Yells at me, "Alright listen up, If your going to be living with me then you better not steal anything becuase I KNOW WHERE U LIVE!"

I respond, "ya... I know u do, I live with you"
Rainbowdash kind of blushes
Cabbagelass: hopefully because she is ashamed of how stupid her comment sounded out loud…
 and says, "ya... well if u need to just bring a cloud in the house to sleep on, becuase again u can walk on clouds becuase u have wings"
Cabbagelass: I never really inderstood that cloud-walking thing…
Twilight: well you see, the molecular structure of a Pegasus’s hoof is just such that it allows for vapor-
Cabbagelass: eh, maybe you can explain before the start of chapter 3…
I smile a bit, "alright well lets meet up with the others"
Rainbowdash nods
Back at Sugercube corner - - - - - - -
Twilight: One unsuccessful page break later…

I say, "is there anything u need me to do? my bits arent going to last very long - and these guys dont even have bits at all!

Cabbagelass: is it wrong that I took that sentence in an incredibly dirty context?
riley and nick cant help but look helpless
Twilight: Rarity, stop being a marewhore!
Cabbagelass: author, stop using emoticons in an inappropriate context!
Nick Riley and I all look at her like she has lost her mind...
Twilight: typical Pinkie, using sugar and parties to solve nearly every problem.
Cabbagelass: you spelled “I fail at high school English” wrong….
exept for fluttershy raised theyre hands
Twilight: Their WHATS?
Caggagelass: this thing *holds up hand and wriggles fingers*

 that’s disgusting….

So we set off for sugercube corner,
pinkiepie said, "ok whoever eats the most gets 250 bits and free cupcakes/muffins for life!
2nd gets 100 bits and a free cupcake

Cabbagelass: neither cupcake-related item would be all that appetizing after this contest.
Twilight: does Pinkie Pie even have the authority to do either of those things? She could lose her job

3rd gets 10 bits
So we all got ready
"on your marks... get set... GO!" screamed pinkie

Cabbagelass: *chomps on a cupcake* this cupcake tastes kinda bloody… is there a pegasus feather in mine?!

I started to plow through those cupcakes, rarity was slowly eating a single cupcake

Twilight: I don’t think Rarity would even enter a cupcake eating contest…

I was in 3rd at the moment
30 seconds yelled pinkie
I sped up my pace and barley

Cabbagelass: hoho, a pun. My we are comedic…..
 passed riley
15 seconds!
I was catching up on nick so he began to eat faster too

Twilight: the suspense is killing me….
Cabbagelass: said Nopony Ever…

I was almost there



Cabbagelass:is this string of numbers really necessary?

I Was tied

Twilight: to the table, ready to be sacrificed

This is very close!
I blacked out due to eating too many cupcakes
Cabbagelass: Oh thank Celestia, we’re free!
Twilight: and not a moment too soon. I need to finish up some recordkeeping for this year’s Winter Wrap-up. We finished a half-day early!
Cabbagelass: sweet coincidence, I have to go play some Harvest Moon now!
Twilight: ah, I see. With that I bid you a happy first day of spring.

Cabbagelass: thanks, you too.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 12: Go Out With a Sneer

Johnel: *Sitting in the theater seat while speaking with a teenage girl, with red hair, and in a business suit* Clone 91 read off to me the damages.

Clone 91: After the failed uprising of my brethren the remaining 14 stable clones have been accounted for with 13 now serving various positions amongst both Ienzo’s and your own personal staff. Clone 56 was dispatched in “For Want of Nail” experiment #1. You currently have the one in life who was Sage Darunia angered with you over Lea’s misinformation that you had ordered Sage Saria’s involvement in the last “Nightmare on Hyrule Field”. Sage Ruto has been taken off her medication due to ill effects with here physiology and will be given more sessions with Chambers. Finally the remaining 13 including myself formally request to be given names beyond our number designation.

Johnel: *Pinches the ridge of his nose* I see. Actually I think Saria was talking about names for you so go talk to her. Send Link in and you are dismissed.

Clone 91: Yes sir. *Leaves*

Johnel: *Sniffs* Why does the theater smell like wet cat?

*Link walks in seemingly calmer than before and sits down*

Johnel: Hey Link how you feeling?


When I awoke, I noticed I was lying on the floor bound hand and foot with rope. Looking around the room, I saw Link sitting next to me bound as well. I tried to tug at my bonds, but it seemed no matter how hard I tried the bonds seemed to tighten.

Johnel: I really hope I didn’t accidently have Cab watch Jenna’s BDSM phase.

"Its no use Jenna, I've already tried." Link said in a faltering tone. "It seems that we are prisoner of my mirror self." "You are so right." Called the sneering voice again. Just then a figure appeared in the doorway to the room. "So…the "Hero of Time" is now my prisoner." "How long I awaited this day, the day when I would get revenge on my counter part."


Johnel: You know he was always an easy fight never got the popularity.

 I watched as the shadowy figure moved forward revealing an exact copy of Link. Although the "copy" was darker, wearing a black tunic and hat, and those blood red eyes shone with pure evil.


As he approached Link, the look of him made me shiver in fear. "What are you going to do with us?" Link said with hatred in his voice. "Hmmm….I haven't decided what I'm going to do with you yet."

Johnel: I vote dipped in boiling oil.

 Then he glanced over at me, his blood red eyes piercing into my soul. "But I think I have plans for that beautiful wife of yours." The mirror image said with amusement in his voice. "Oh by the way…call me Dark Link."


Just then Dark Link strode over and bend down beside me, "Such a beautiful creature." He said as he put his hand under my chin, lifting my head up to face him. I shot him a look of hate. "I have plans for you sweet thing." Dark Link said as he ran his hands seductively down the side of my face.

Johnel: Do minibosses even have genitals?

 "What the hell are you talking about!?" I looked up at him, his red eyes seemed to glow with an evil desire. "Oh…I have special plans for you." "You will soon find out." He begun to laugh, a laugh so hideous that it made my skin crawl. Realizing what he meant, my eyes grew as big as saucers. "I want nothing to do with YOU in that manor!" I cried as I spat in his face. "You Bitch, you'll pay for that!" Whipping the spit from his face, he backhanded me,

Johnel: Fuck yes!


leaving a stinging sensation on my cheek. "How dare you hit my wife!" Link screamed. "Well it seems you're in no condition do anything about it." Dark Link said with humor. Then the dark being faced me again. "I will be back for you real soon." Running his hand down the side of my face again, he smiled then got up and strode to the door. "Now don't think of trying to escape." He said with a smirk then walked out.

Johnel: What the hell does he need to do get groceries?

I looked over at Link. "What are we going to do?" "I dunno, he took my sword and I cannot break the bonds." "It seems were at Dark Link's mercy." Link said as his face faltered. "I will not concede to defeat!" I cried as I twisted forward.

Johnel: Please do so the fic can be over.

"I don't want to either my love, but I'm at a loss on what to do." I was beginning to grow concerned. The thought of what hideous things Dark Link might do to me,


 sent shivers up my spine. I tried to tug at my bonds again, but to no avail. I was beginning to think that all hope was lost, when a glint of something shiny caught my eye.

Johnel: Great she is easily distracted by shiny things.

 I peered deeper into the darkness on the other side of the room, as I pushed my self away from the wall and slinked across the floor. When I got close enough to the shining object, I realized that the glints were coming off the gems on my Phoenix Circles.


Johnel: It is just chakrams with a stupid name.

 It seemed that in his hast to remove our weapons, Dark Link seemingly forgot to take my Phoenix Circles with the rest of the weapons.


"Link look, over on that table across the room." "Its my Phoenix Circles. "I said as I leaned forward. "How do you suppose we are going to get to it?" "We're still bound." Link reminded. Looking back down at my bonds, the feeling of my cat instincts washed over me again.

Johnel: Yes lot a good that is going to….. wait what fucking cat instincts did she become a Khajiit when we weren’t looking?

 Gracefully, I leaned forward until my mouth met the bonds around my ankles. Slowly I took part of the rope into my mouth and begun to gnaw at it. Quickly I chewed my way threw the rope, knowing I had to make hast. I had to break my bonds before Dark Link returned.

Johnel: Honestly what stupidity did I miss to get us to this point?

After some work, I managed to chew through the bonds around my ankles. I got up and staggered over to the table where my Phoenix Circles where sitting. Turning around, I took one of them into my hands and worked it around until the blade was resting against the bonds around my wrists. Taking it, I slowly managed to cut threw my bonds. Putting my weapon down, I rubbed my wrists to soothe the pain from the slight wounds that came from when I tried to break the bonds. "Link I'm free."


 Grabbing my weapon I walked over to him. "How did you manage to break your bonds?"

Johnel: Maybe the fucking bladed weapons she mentioned being in the room you idiot.

 Link asked with shock. "Well I owe it all to the training I had while I was traveling."

Johnel: That we are just hearing of now.

"Now its time to break your bonds." Reaching down I placed the blade of my Phoenix Circle against the bonds on Link's ankles. Snapping the ropes off, I motioned for Link to turn around. Placing the blade against the rope, I sliced it off in one swift swipe. Rubbing his wrists he looked up at me with a smile on his face.

"You're amazing my love." He said with a smile. I walked into Link's arms and kissed him. Then his expression changed into a serious one. "Now we must get out of here and find the rest of our weapons before Dark Link returns." Nodding, I grabbed my Phoenix Circles, and followed Link as we slowly made our way to the door. Inching his way out the door, Link checked to see if anyone was coming.

Johnel: Is there anyone else besides Yoobles? Also I get the feeling we won’t be able to match this up with any map of the Water Temple.

"Coast is clear, lets go." Link whispered. Slinking our way down the dark corridors, the echo of Dark Link's taunting voice lingered in the air. "We must hurry…this way." Link pointed towards a hallway with a light shining at the end.

Johnel: God at least the bad sex gave us something to make fun of this is just boring.

Winding thre - Hell I’ll just paraphrase the next bit with they find their stuff and -Just then the door swung open.

"Going somewhere?" There in the doorway stood Dark Link. "I thought I told you two to stay put!" An evil sneer

Johnel: Does he do anything but.

crossed Dark Link's face as he eyed us over. "I don't take orders from the likes of you!" Link sneered back.


 "You will be after I'm finished with you." Just then Dark Link drew a sword with a remarkably likeness to the Master Sword. At that point, with Dark Link holding a sword just like the Master Sword,

Johnel: Wha…what did… you… it… We fucking got it dear you don’t need to repeat it!

I begun to think that this is one battle Link would not win alone.

Johnel: Once again the boss fight in the game was piss easy.


 Drawling my Phoenix Circles I made a daring charge at Dark Link. Feeling my cat like instincts kick in, I jumped gracefully into the air, aiming my weapons directly at his face. Just before I managed to strike, Dark Link raised his sword and blocked my weapon causing a clank of metal and sparks to fill into the air. Falling back, I swiftly rushed forward and high kicked Dark Link in the face, causing him to go flying back

Johnel: Suddenly she is just ninja I guess.


 into a wall. Staggering back up, his face twisted into an evil grin. "So…you want to play rough do you?" He said wiping the blood from his mouth. "I can show you just how rough I can play!"


A flash of white light surrounded the room, causing Link and I to be blinded. I felt myself being lifted into the air, as if someone was carrying me. I heard Dark Link's sinister laugh ring threw my ears then all went black.

With unblinking eyes I stared into the blackness of the room I was in. Cold water shifted around my ankles as I walked around. Pushing my way threw the darkness, I listened for any sounds that might be my love Link.

Johnel: So Yoobles can teleport things now?

 "LINK…Link where are you my love?!" "Link are you there?" I cried out into the darkness, but all there was, was silence. Continuing to move forward, I finally found myself standing in front of a strange tree. Looking up at it, it looked twisted and ugly, as if it was a tortured soul. Its twisted branches stretched out like clawed fingers, as if it was trying to grab something. Backing up, the cold water brushed up against my legs, causing a cold chill to run up my back.


Just then a chilling laugh pierced the darkness. Looking back towards the tree, a black figure slinked out from behind it. It's chilling blood red eyes sending a chill deep into my soul. "Dark Link…where the hell am I and where is Link!?" I sneered

Johnel: It’s contagious I guess.

 raising my Phoenix Circles up in front of me. Snapping his fingers a sudden light filled the room, lighting up the surroundings. A sudden shock ran threw me. "Oh…my Goddesses…is this the strange room Link described where he first met his counter part?"

Johnel: No it is a Jamba Juice.

Then something caught my eye. Looking over my shoulder, there bound to the wall over the way out, was Link.


"OH MY GODDESSES…LINK!" I cried clopping my hands over my mouth.

Johnel: How do you do that? The “o” key and the “a” key are nowhere close enough for that kind of typo to happen. I mean unless clopping is this thing I’ve never hear of.


Johnel: That’s just wrong…. Though knowing this fic it is as likely to happen as anything else.

"What the hell have you done to him you bastard!?" "I told you earlier…if you want to play rough, I will show you just how rough I can play!" An evil glint rose in Dark Link's eyes, the flame of hatred flicking in them. "If you want to save your love; then you must defeat me." Eyeing him, I poised into a fighting stance, placing my Phoenix Circles up in front of me. I knew I was in for a long battle.

Johnel: Please die we all really want you to die.

The Final Fight


I charged forward, crying into the chilling air as I prepared to strike. Lunging, my weapon clashed with his, causing a crash of metal and a shower of sparks. Pushing forward, our weapons met again, as a shower of sparks rained from our rage. I backed up again, raising my weapon for another assault. We moved in a circle, each waiting for the other to attack. Then I took my chances and lunged again. This time my weapon connected, cutting his black tunic, leaving a gash across his chest. Looking down at his crimson soaked wound,


Johnel: Can he even have any?

he sneered then flew at me, sword raised. I ducked, raising my weapon in defense.

Our blades connected again, sending another shower of sparks into the air. The sound or our weapons clashing filled the room, as the water rushed around our shuffling feet. He again tried to push forward, causing me to block in defense. Backing up again I moved with him, trying to anticipate his next attack. And I felt him surround me. His taunting laugh causing the rage inside me to flourish.


 Then I felt Link calling to me in my mind, heard him telling me what to do. But because of the fiery rage that was running threw me, his voice sounded muffled and distant. As the evil being moved around me, I felt the chilling air he was generating move across my skin. I eyed his every move, waiting for the right moment to strike. His blood red eyes watched me, the flames of a fire seemed to flicker in them. His weapon moved with such grace and his moves like that of a striking tiger.

Johnel: So if I’m looking at the evidence normal Link fucks like a tiger while Yoobles the Link Clone fights like one? Or is it that Link is secretly Tigerman?

Though I waited, waited for the right moment. "Well aren't you going to attack, or are you afraid?" Dark Link snickered as his hand gestured for me to come forth. "Afraid of you!?" "Your more of a fool then I thought." "You surprise me Dark Link." "I thought you said you were going to show me just how rough you can play."

Johnel: Wait aren’t those cliché lines for the villain to use? Well guess she is showing her true colors then.

A small smile crossed my face as I saw the burning rage twist Dark Link's face. "Be careful of what you wish for." "Cause you might just GET IT!" Dark Link's face twisted into a vicious smile as he lunged forward again. Raising my weapon again, I prepared to defend myself. A sudden flash of metal blazed as my weapon met his. Using all my strength, I fought to push his sword back. My wrists started to buckle under the immense power that Dark Link was putting into his sword, as he tried to pin me under it. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, felt sweat beading my face. I continued to push forward, forcing my all into my only hope, my Phoenix Circles.

"Your weak Jenna." "Why don't you just surrender to me and I will go easy on you." "The hope your holding onto is not going to save you now." Dark Link said bitterly, thrusting his sword forward, pushing it closer to my throat. "You infidel!"


"I will never concede to the likes of you!" I spat, my eyes narrowing. "Then die bitch!"

With a swift move of his sword, Dark Link knocked my Phoenix Circles out of my hands, sending them flying across the room. With a gasp, I backed up only to be met by a swift kick to my legs, sending me crashing to the floor and sending a spray of water into the air. I watched as the twisted figure of Link loomed over me, sword pointed at my throat.

Johnel: Yoobles defeat her and fight for everlasting peace!

 With another sinister laugh, he grabbed me by the tunic and threw me across the room, sending me flying across the water and into the twisted tree. With a loud thud, I fell to the ground, stunned and hurt. Trying to shake off the pain I was now feeling, I opened my eyes only to see Dark Link, advancing on his counter part.

Johnel: Unfortunately the twist of fate that makes Yoobles the hero here takes away the double tap skill.

With one last look back at me, his blood red eyes flickered with and evil glow as a sinister smile crossed his face. "Nothing is going to save both of you now."


 His chilling laugh filled the room again, causing it to ring in my ears. Dazed, I looked around the room and saw my Phoenix Circles just a few feet from where I sat. I tried to get up, but my leg was hurt badly, so I fell back down. Trying to drag myself, I got with in arms length of them, when a sudden flash of metal knocked my weapons further away. I looked up and saw Dark Link standing over me. "Ah…ah…ah…I cannot have you retrieve your weapons now can I?"


 He said in a sinister laugh as he waved a finger in front of him. "Now get back to where you were!" He said as his foot connected me in the jaw, causing me to fly back into the twisted tree. "Now stay put this time, I will be back for you shortly!" He screeched as he turned and strode back towards Link.

Lying there I felt my whole world starting to fall upon me. Its hopeless." I thought to myself as I huddled against the evil looking tree. "I failed miserably."

Johnel: Yes.

 "I failed Link."


 "My son, Link Jr."


"What have I done?"

Johnel: Besides the drinking of piss and soul fucking?

"Its all over now, I failed them both." Burying my head in my hands, I started to cry. I felt as if I betrayed both Link and our son. Now our son will be orphaned,


Johnel: Guess she did have her evil plan to steal the kid come true.

 Link and I prisoners to this twisted evil being. As I thought there was no hope left, I heard a distant voice call out to me in my mind. Suddenly the void opened up and a flame rose in my mind.

Johnel: Hell yeah her mind is being wiped!

 As the connection between Link and I was established, he called out to me. I floated in the emptiness, moved towards the flame. I saw Link's image dance within its red glow, as his voice called out from it. "Jenna my love, you cannot give up, you cannot give in." "But he is just too strong, what can I do?" I said to him telepathically. "My love, search for the strength within." "Look into your heart and there will you find the answer."


Then the void shattered around me, causing the flame to flicker out and our connection to break.

Suddenly I felt something hot surge threw me. It raced threw my bones, raced threw my every vein, radiating to the very center of my being. My skin felt like it was burning, as if I was in a fire and the blood within me felt like it was boiling. A sudden burst of pain shot threw me bringing me to my knees, my screams filing into the air. I felt my hands starting to burn, and as I looked down at them, flames were dancing on the palms of my hands.

Johnel: Spontaneous Combustion Go!

I screeched as the flames rose into mini fires, its heat making sweat bead my face. The heat inside my body surged towards my hands, fueling the fires. And I felt a wave of blinding heat surround me, as my eyes watered. As the fires raged threw me, I felt something within me snap. Instincts of a pure fiery rage burst threw me, as an unknown fiery wind lifted me up surrounding my within its flames. My hair whipped around my shoulders and my dress whipped around my ankles as a scorching wind started to fill the room.

Johnel: ….. Wait she controls fire? Bullshit! I’m mean first you got those throwing disc things and now fire. Who does she think she is!?


Standing inside the mists of a hellish burning blaze my eyes narrowed as Dark Link suddenly realized what was going on. Just as his hooded head slowly turned to face the fiery hell that was looming over him, my hands rose as tunnels of fire shot out, snaking towards Dark Link with a burning vengeance.

Johnel: Well at least the narration admits her powers come from hell.

When the fiery hell connected with him, his twisted cries tore into the air as the fires engulfed him. As I moved forward, the air begun to fill with a crackling sound as lightning danced across the ceiling. The water in the room began to surge, creating a rushing of waves as the water pounded the walls. Then the ground started shaking, causing cracks to appear on the walls and small crevasses to open in the floor.

Johnel: Oh fuck she can control the other elements now?


I watched as Dark Link's sneer shone threw the hell that engulfed him. He dropped into the swelling waters, dousing the fire, causing heated steam and smoke to rise from his charred clothes. "You wretched bitch!" "I should have killed you!"

Johnel: Yes you should have.

 He cursed, as he rose from the water, his face twisting into a devilish sneer. "You're right, you should have killed me when you had the chance." "You're a fool, now its time to die you evil beast!" Raising my hands into the air, I summoned my powers and combined them into a fiery hell as it descended upon the shadowy evil while lightning and fire reined on him from the sky. The water surged beneath his feet as the floor shook under him, causing him to collapse to the ground. I watched as the Dark Link screamed, trying to fend off the hell that was upon him. But it was useless.


As the attack continued, I gracefully moved over to him. Lifting a hand up, I cried into the air, the sound piercing the howling noises cascading threw the room. And with all my strength I called upon my new powers combining them all into a gigantic energy ball of pure destruction. With a flick of my wrist, the energy ball descended upon the Dark Being, engulfing him.

Johnel: So to get this straight she is Lea, the Avatar, and a Sayian. Why the fuck not it isn’t like there is a concept like logical application of abilities due to setting or anything silly like that.

 With his last screams of agony, the energy ball imploded taking Dark Link with it.


 The chair reaction from the explosion sent me flying backwards and into a wall. Lying on the floor in the water, I looked around the shattered room and saw the elements still raging. With my last ounce of strength, I raised my head up high as a blinding white light ascended from my body and filled the room causing all to go calm once more.

When I awoke, Link was sitting beside me, holding me in his dusty arms.

Johnel: She just pulled a Vegeta on some guy but she still needs to be a fragile flower carried in the arms of her man because that is her place.

 Looking up at him, his eternal blue eyes stared deeply into mine. "Your awake my love, oh goddesses I thought I lost you!" "How are you feeling?" He said as he stroked my arm. "Ouch…oh my head hurts." I winced when I tried to move. "Take it easy my love, you landed into a wall." Rubbing my head I felt something cold and wet. Lowering my hand I saw blood on my fingers, then the sight of the room caught my eye. "Oh my Goddesses…….what the hell happened here!?" I said in a raspy voice. "You don't remember?" Link questioned. I just shook my head.


"While I was bound to the wall, I watched helplessly as Dark Link sent you crashing into the tree that was there." "When you tried to regain your weapon, Dark Link caught you and kicked your weapon away, then kicked you back into the tree." " The next thing I knew, you were standing in the center of the room, your body on fire." "Then I felt a strong searing wind fill the room as pillars of flame shot out from your hands. "

Johnel: Actually how are you not burned to a crisp by the room becoming a furnace anyways?

 "The last thing I remember was that all hell broke loose and a strange ball of energy engulfed Dark Link, destroying him." "Those haunting screams he let out before he died, I swear I will never forget that."

"When I awoke, I was lying on the floor covered with dust and debris." "I begun to look around the room for you, and when I found you, you were lying on the floor unconscious and covered in blood." "I thought my worst fears came true, I thought I had lost you."


I watched as tears welled up in Link's jeweled eyes. He leaned forward and held me close. Closing my eyes I laid my head against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart. I was still over whelmed, by what Link had just told me. I had no memory of those events. "Did I really have control over the elements?" I thought to myself. "What really happened here?" "Did I really cause…..this?" I glanced around the shattered room in disbelief. "How could I have caused such destruction?"

Johnel: I don’t know you already did a good job of destroying canon.

 Lowering my eyes I looked at my hands again. Aside from the blood that was caked on them, I saw nothing on them that could have let me "Shoot Fire" from them. With a sigh, I looked back up at Link. "Link my love…can we go home?" With a smile he nodded as we got up and slowly made our way out of the strange mangled room.

Johnel: Well another chapter down and a few more brain cells have been killed. Not if you excuse me I'm going to figure out what is with that wet cat smell. *Leaves*

Link: *Leaves*