Thursday, November 29, 2012

Co-Op Mode Part 4: Let Me Tell You Why Your Love Triangles Bullshit


Hello guyss! Whats up? This is the 5th chapter of this fanfic,


 This is when the really journey begins and Hope gets meet new people...i hope you all like it..let me know whatcha guys think. Thanks( :


 "Goodmorning Gofy" Hope said as she yawnd and streached her arms. She looked over at Gofy. He was still sleeping on his side. Hope smiled and she got up. Her feet gently touched the floor, she quitely put on her shoes and she tip-toed out. She slowly and quietly opened and closed the door. She smiled because she was able to get out so quitely. When she turned around Sora was right in front of her.

 Cabbagelass: That's it! This fic is a psycological thriller about two mentally-unstable teenagers trying to out-creep each other!

Johnel: As long as they don't suddenly start moving around by ventalation shafts we are fine.

 "Oh my god!" Hope said as she jumped. Sora chuckled and she playfuly hit him.

 "Hey!" Sora said while he was still laughing. She walked pass Sora with a made face and Sora grabbed her arm while they were in the hall.

 "Hope im sorry." Sora said as Hope was tring to to look into his gaze so she looked at her arm, because Sora's hand was still there.

 "Oh sorry.."

  Cabbagelass: Not sure if romantic, or just tense . . .

Johnel: I think the word you want is stupid.

Sora said as he let go. She smiled and she started walking to the kitchen. She passed the living room and Sora followed her. She opened the door and she saw neatly prepaired food on the tabel.

 "Pancakes and eggs!" Sora yelled as he walked in. Hope followed behind him, he held out the seat for Hope. She smiled and she sat down.

"Thank you Sora.." Hope grabbed a fork.

 "You're welcome Hope."

  Cabbagelass: Let's just hope he knows more about portion size than his ex.

Johnel: Actually why don't we have snacks? *Pulls out a phones* Hey this is... uh hu... I'll have a Root Beer no ice large and the usual…*Covers phone* Hey Cab want anything?

 Cabbagelass: this place serve chicken tenders and iced tea?

 Johnel: Yes. *Back to phone* Yes my friend wishes for the Chicken Tenders and an Iced tea... yes.. during the chapter break.. yes thank you. *Hangs up*

 Sora grabbed a fork too. They began to eat and Gofy walked in.

 "Goodmorning Gofy how did you sleep?" Hope asked when she finished swallowing the eggs. Gofy looked at Hope.

 " about you?" Gofy asked. Sora looked at her too.

 "Good. Sora how did you sleep?" Hope asked. They both turned their attention to Sora after he sneezed.

 Johnel: You know this gag is supposed to work with the sneezing party being away from the group when they are mentioned so you have failed.

"Gowsh Sora did you get sick when it was raining in-" Gofy stoped when Sora was mouthing him be quiet. Gofy and Sora looked at Hope. She just grabbed the fork in her hand and she began to play with the eggs.

 "Uhh i think so Gofy." The gummy ship began to make a noisy.

Cabbagelass: that wasn't a mistake folks, look at your keyboard. look at how awkwarld far away E and Y are on it.  Either she had an auto-correct fail or she intentionally gave us that infantial grammatic buttrape.


 "What is that?" Gofy asked as Sora coughed. Hope looked at him.

 "Were in another world!" Donald said as he ran into the kitchen.

 "Let's go check it out!" Sora said as he sneezed again. They all looked at him. His eyes suddenly looked tierd, his nose began to turn alittle red, and he looked like he couldnt walk right.

Cabbagelass: The cold was waiting for the plot to arrive. It will assassinate Sora while no one's looking.


 "No stay here, your sick..Donald, Gofy, and I will go handle the heartless okay?" Hope said as she got up and put her arms around Donald, and Gofy's neck. She had on a gofy smile. Sora smiled back. He nodded and Hope walked up to him and she helped him up and to his room. It was her first time in his room. She set him on the bed and she looked around. She saw his clothes, his hair gel, his boxers,

Cabbagelass: TMI fanfic, T.M.I.....

Johnel: Could be worse I've seen Lea's room.

 his shoes, but something caught her attention. There was a picture of Sora and Kairi on Destiny's Island. She looked around and she noticed he had a few pictures of him and her. She smiled and Sora tillted his head. He didnt know what she was smiling at.

 "You guys had alot of memories together, didnt you?" Hope asked. He smiled then nodded.

 "I remember the first time i had to leave her. It was a bright and sunny day on the island. Me, Kairi, and my other friend Riku were all playing.

Cabbagelass: ... I only saw the first 20 minutes of the first game, but didn't Sora and Riku's "playing" include a race to determine which one of them would become Kairi's soulmate or some such nonsense?

 Johnel: I think Riku was more trolling but remind me to sit you down for a brief history lesson with Even later.

 Cabbagelass: Not sure if want but ok.

The breeze was smooth, the tree's were slightly moving, and the sand was golden. It was always night had to come and it messed up our fun..But, the night wasn't regular. It seemed darker than normal and it looked as if it was gonna rain. I walked Kairi home and i went home. I was in my room laying on my bed. Then i looked outside and i saw it was raining and there was a ball of darkness floating above the island. It was sucking in everything. I jolted up and ran outside my window. I swam

 Johnel: No that isn't how it worked.

  to the island and not much was left of it." Hope had her eyes closed, she was pictureing the day. In a way, it frightened her.


"When i saw it i was scared. I saw heartless and i tried to use my wooden sword to attack them but it didnt work. Then the keyblade appeard in my hand. Soon everything was sucked up in that hole including me. I was in a diffrent town then i met Donald and Gofy. We travel together but a girl put us in a deep sleep.

Johnel: Excpet that you had your minds wiped of Chain of Memories so you can't be saying this. Hell Ienzo swore me to secrecy to not tell him about it myself. In other words...

We slept for a year. Then i was back on my journey. I caught up with Kairi and i promised her i would never go anyway without her again..but now, she went somewherer without me." Tears began to fill Sora's eyes. Hope hugged him and then there was a knock on the door.

 "C'mon Hope! Gofy just saw a person being attacked by heartless." Donald yelled from behind the door.

Cabbagelass: Yeah, 'cause Hope is totally fit to fight off heartless with her water magic she didn't use last time she encountered them.

 Hope looked at Sora and she ran outside. When they caught up with Gofy he was fighting heartless. Donald summond his weapon and he began to fight the heartless too. Hope looked around and saw a girl about her age. She went up to her quickly.

 "C'mon lets go!" Hope said as her and the girl ran. When ever a heartless would appear Hope would pull water from thin air and she would slash the heartless.

 Johnel: For you know she couldn't have done that back on Destiny Islands.

  They ran until they ran up a couple of stairs.

 "Whoa.." Hope said as she looked around. It was a big place with a balcony. If you looked over it you saw the sunset, the town, and a train. Hope took a second to look at it. Then the girl pulled her.


  Cabbagelass: I feel so sorry for that unnamed OC, that her fate lies in an incompetent and easily-distracted mary sue.

Johnel: Honestly I'm praying for an OC for the alternative might be worse.

 She ran inside a building and they ran up alot of stairs. They finaly reached the top and three boys were waiting.

Cabbagelass: The Eds?


Johnel: No...

Cabbagelass: Dangit . . .

 A boy with brown hair said. She hugged him and she introduced herself to Hope.

 "Im Olette..This is Hayner."

 Johnel: No no no ….

 The boy with brown hair shook Hopes hand.

 "This is Pence."

Johnel: No no no no no

 A guy with black waved his hand. Hope smiled and waved back.

 "And this is Roxas."


 A guy with a dirty blond hair walked up. He had an amazing smile, that made Hope go crazy over. She smiled and she shook his hand. He pulled her in and he hugged her.

 Johnel: No fuck you fic you don't just bring Roxas back with no reason other than just for another stupid guy to oggle. In fact if Lea were anywhere near you he'd burn you alive you stupid sueauthor.

 "Thank you for saved Olette."

 Cabbagelass: Happy to you, failed engrish translation fruit!

 He said. Hope blushed and she hugged him back.

 "Youre welcome." She said as she pulled back from his hug.

 "Well i have to get going." Hope said as she started walking down the stairs. They all followed her,

 Cabbagelass: And what idiot logic possessed them to do that?

and when they reached the bottom there was an explosion. Hanyer grabbed Olette in his arms and he put himself infront of her. Roxas did the samething to Hope. When the explosion was over she saw Sora walking out of the smoke with blood on his arm.


 "Whos-" Roxas

 Johnel: Yes somehow he doesn’t seem to recognize The person he could be considered one half of!

  was cut off by Hope.

 "SORA!" She yelled as she ran to his aid. He looked up at her and his eyes sparkled, and he smiled. She hugged him, he was shocked but he loved it.

Cabbagelass: Hope that made the arm-wound worth it!

Johnel: It is a 17 chapter story you might want to hold back on sinking into pun usage.

 He rapped his arms around her back. The glow of the sun was shinning on them, the wind was blowing and it made Hopes hair, and Sora's clothes and hair flow with it. She pulled away and she looked at him.

 " glad youre okay but didnt i tell you to wait in the ship?" She asked as she put her hands on her hips and she tilted her head. Sora gave a smirk and he nodded. He looked behind her and she turned around to see what he was looking at.

 "Oh Sora this is Olette, Hayner, Pence and Roxas." Everybody waved at him and he smiled and waved back.

Cabbagelass: Coating everyone with tiny flecks of blood.

 Johnel: Mind you it isn't like they've met Sora... oh wait they do know him so this makes no sense.

 "Hope, is that your boyfriend?" Olette asked. Sora and Hope both blushed as they looked at eachother. They quickly looked back at her.

 "He isnt my boyfriend!" Hope said. They all started laughing. Hope bent her knee and that made her hip stick out,

 Johnel:*Singing* My hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right.

  and Sora was rubbing behind his neck. They were both still blushing then Donald and Gofy came running with a giant heartless chasing them

 "Hope! Sora!" Gofy yelled. Sora and Hope ran infront of Gofy and Donald. Sora turned to Hope and he summond a keyblade.

 "Here. Touch my keyblade..youre not gonna be able to take it out with water." Hope touched the keyblade and Sora gave her the keyblade.

 Johnel: You can't just do that... well okay you can pass on the power to one day use a Keyblade to others but not like this.

 Sora summond another keyblade, then Roxas ran up next to Hope.

"Roxas what are you doing?" She asked as he summond a keyblade in his hand.

 "Oh.." Sora said. They all went after the heartless and they took it out with a few hits. After Sora grabbed his arm.

 Cabbagelass: Ok, there's delayed reaction, and then there's being an idiot . . .

 "Ouch!" Sora yelled. Hope looked at his arm, and she made water go in her hands. It started to glow and she rubbed it on his arm. Soon the cut and the pain was fading..and fading..until it was gone.

Johnel: Okay Cab I think your AT:LA references were really on the nose now.

Cabbagelass: . . . I hope that doesn't mean she'll bloodbend . . .

 "Thank you Hope." Sora said as he hugged her.

"Youre welcome." She hugged him back.

Hey i just finished and it think its alittle bit longer..just alittle. So what did you think about this chapter? Did you like it or love it?

Johnel: Does wish to destroy it count as an option?

 Let me know whatcha think okie dokie? Thanks!

 Hey guys this is chapter six of Sora's Love Life. Let me know whatcha guys think at the end. This chapter is where the competition between Sora and Roxas.

 Cabbagelass: there you go again, failing to give us a relatively complete sentence.

 Hope you injoy it! So start just kidding, i dont tell you what to do.( :

Johnel: 3...2...1 *The server comes in giving Johnel and Cab their food and leaves* Still wondering how Ienzo found catgirls to be our staff though.

 Cabbagelass: wow, these are freshly cooked *noms on chicken strip* High class.

"So..Roxas..i think you should come with us to help stop evil going into people's hearts." Hope said as she looked at him. They had all walked up the long stairway with ice cream in their hands.

 Cabbagelass: What's with bad fanfics and random junkfood breaks?

 Johnel:*noming on a burger* Hey stupidity is hungry work.

When Hope told Roxas that he looked at her. Roxas was at the left end, next to Hope. And next to her was Sora, and next to him was Olette. Next to her was Gofy, and next to him was Hayner. Next to him was Donald, and next to him was Pence.

Cabbagelass: Does the order matter? This is an annoyingly meaningless sentence.

 When Roxas looked at Hope her eyes sparkled as she watched the sunset. Her hair was flowing with the wind, the sun made her skin look smooth and lightly tanned. Roxas smiled alittle when he was looking at her and Sora saw.


"Yeah! Hey Roxas, wanna race up and down. The person that wins gets to have Hope sleep in their room tonight."

 Cabbagelass: So now Hope is the ship whore. . .

 Johnel: No the author just thinks she is clever by referencing events from Kingdom Hearts 1.

 Sora said as he finished his ice cream. Roxas nodded and Hope was blushing.

 "Why does it matter where i sleep tonight?" She asked. Sora and Roxas looked at eachother. Hope couldnt believe her eyes. She saw to cute guys.

I've been in a love triangle before, and I've seen them play out all the time realistically; it's not romantic and it's not a girl's dream come true. At best one competitor gets their heart broken but remains with the crux of the triangle as a friend; at worst the crux knew who they were going to choose all along and they were simply playing with the second competitor’s heart. It is both unfair and a ridiculous addition to this already confused and awkward story!

 Roxas's spiky hair was flowing to the right because that was the way the wind was moving. His eyes were big and blue like Sora's eyes. Sora's messy hair was also moving in the wind but his eyes sparkled in a diffrent way as he looked at her. Hope smiled.

"Well because, you're just amazing like that." Roxas said in a romanic voice.

 Johnel: First what is a romantic voice and second is that really the answer your going with?

  Sora got mad. Hope smiled and she walked infront of Sora and Roxas. She held up her arms.


 "Ready-set-go!" She yelled. Sora and Roxas looked at eachother and they began to run. Hope walked back to the edge of the tower and she sat down with her friends.

 "Well we have to go home, Olette's mom would kill me if i brought her home late." Hayner said as he grabbed her hand and he helped her up.

 Cabbagelass: Yeah, nevermind you saved her life or some shit, here the true mark of a Gentleman ins reverance of the curfew.

 Johnel:... I'm guessing the author is an Olette/Hayner shipper as well.

"Yeah..I think im gonna go too." Pence said as he got up. Hope nodded and they all said goodbye.

"So Donald..what do you think about Sora and Roxas?" Hope asked. Donald looked at her.

"Sora..amazing guy! Roxas..i dont know he seems nice." Donald replied as he finished his ice cream.

Cabbagelass: Am I the only one ceaselessly amused with the mental image of Donald trying to eat ice cream?

Johnel: I can't find anything about ducks eating funny after seeing this....

Hope nodded.

"Why? Do you have a crush on him?" Donald asked. Hope nodded and she blushed.

"Why do ya wanna know Donald? Ya jelous?" Gofy started to laugh. But Donald just shook his head.

 Johnel: Yes Donald is a great judge of character.

 "I know she wants me."

Cabbagelass: . . . This is horrible beyond words. This is now personally offensive to me as a woman.


 Donald said with a smirk. Hope laughed. Then someone came running up. They waited for a few seconds to find Sora running to them.

 "And the winner Sora!" Hope said.

 Cabbagelass: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay.

 Roxas was just a few seconds behind. Hope got up and started walking.

"Whoa!" Roxas fell on Hope.

"Ouch!" She yelled. Roxas was ontop of Hope.

 Johnel: You're not fooling anyone with that Roxas.

 She blushed because his face was close to hers. She was able to feel him breathe. He started into her eyes and he got up. He held out his hand and so did Sora. She picked Sora's hand.

 Cabbagelass: Of course she did. Because when it comes to love triangles it's first come, first serve . . . At least when the competetors are both dudes.

Sora smiled when her hand touched his.

 "You okay?" Sora asked. Hope nodded. Sora smiled and so did Hope. They all started walking back to the gummy ship. But when they were close there was a deep fog,


and there were creepy noises. Everyone igrnored it and contiued to walk except for Hope she froze because she was scared.

Cabbagelass: Because only women can be concerned about sudden fog and inexplicable noises; caution comes with a uterus.

Sora looked back and he ran to her while everyone else was already walking into the gummy ship. "Whats wrong?" Sora asked. She was trembling and Sora knew what her problem was. Sora stuck out his hand.

 Johnel: You know why is she so afraid of just a little fog it isn't like she has fought monsters today or anything.

Cabbagelass: Because if she's scared, she's cuter in the eyes of the writer.

 "C'mon, i promise i will never let anything bad happen to you." Sora said. She held out her pinky and Sora interwined his pinky with hers. Hope smiled. She used one arm to hug his arm and she used the other to hold his hand. Sora was smiling. They walked and the reached the gummy ship.

 "Do you want me to carry you inside master?"

 Cabbagelass: Her hair has learned mind control! IT'S ADVANCED PSYONICS, RUUUUUNNNN!!!!!

 Johnel: Told you she was a Reaper but nobody listened and now Sora is and indoctrinated slave.

 Sora asked with a gofy grin. Hope laughed and she nodded. He carried her legs and her back and he walked in. Everyone was asleep..except for Roxas. He saw him carry her inside and he walked to his room. He set Hope down on the bed and he gave her pajamas.

"Like i said. Im not a pervert." Sora said as Hope started to change.

 Cabbagelass: In front of him . . . voiding that last statement . . .

 Johnel:*As Sora* Just because I'm watching you change clothes and staring at your naked body doesn't mean I'm a pervert. I have to start the camera up first.

He had he sat on the bed and he had his back to her so he couldnt he her change. When she was finished she put a knee on the bed and she grabbed his sholders. He smiled and he turned around. Her face and his face almost touched. They both started to blush.

"Umm..goodnight Sora.." Hope said as she moved and she layed on the bed. Sora layed next to her.

"G'night..Hope.." He said as he fell asleep. The next morning..

 Johnel: Godzilla killed her with radioactive breath... the end.

"Goodmorning Hope." Sora said as he rolled over and he rapped his arms around her.

Cabbagelass: Let's hope his arms can rap better than vanilla ice.

"Goodmorning Sora." Hope said as she turned around and hugged him back. She smiled and he did too. Then there was a knock at the door.

"Sora! Hope! we've landed inna diffrent world"


Johnel: Sadly the only universe like that we've found so far has Kaji from Evangelion as Batman… I’m not even joking I actually found a fanfic that had BatKaji in it.

Gofy said from behind the door. They looked at eachother and raced out. And they walked to the livivng room.

"Goodmorning Roxas." Hope said with a smile. Roxas smiled and hugged her.

 "Goodmorning Hope." She hugged him and and she layed her head on his sholder. Sora got jelous and so did Donald.

Cabbagelass: God, I get enough ducks and beavers from local sports fanatics, this is just too much!

 "C'mon you two love birds we have to see Yuffie and Leon."

 Johnel: Why?

 Donald said. Roxas and Hope stopped hugging eachother and Hope went next to Sora. Something that Donald said got him mad.

Cabbagelass: three guesses as to what it was . . .

 Johnel: What do you now have a racial problem with avian species?

"Hey, since you said im your master can i get a piggy back ride?"


 Hope asked with a gofy smile. Sora smiled back and he bent on one knee so she could get on his back.

"Yay!" Hope said as she was getting on his back.

Cabbagelass: Wow . . . This must be pretty offensive to all the guys in the room; how she uses them like tools and plays with their emotions. Imagine a dude doing this to a few babes?

 Sora got up and they started walking around Hallow Baston. There were alot of stores and alot of people. Its seem so depressed there though.

 Johnel: Well yeah Leon was the closest thing they had to a leader pre Dream Drop Distance and he could suck the fun out of anything.

 Hope frown as they walked by people with no smile on their faces, no life in their hearts, and no hope in their eyes.

Cabbagelass: That is, she was sad t they weren't staring at her non-stop like everyone else does.

 Sora looked at Hope, who was still on his back, and he frowned because she was sad.

Cabbagelass: Ok, I know she's aping Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences at this point, I JUST KNOW IT!

They walked and Gofy bumbed into a guy.

"Opps sorry." He said as the man turned around. He had brown long hair with a sirious face,


and a blade behind his back and he had alot of belts rapped around his hips.

"Leon!" Sora yelled as he walked to him with Hope still on his back.

"Hey Sora, you gotta girlfriend?"

Johnel: Why is everyone so curious about what Sora does with his genitals?

Cabbagelass: Well it's kinda hard not to when the girl's riding him Yoda-style.

He asked as he looked at her. Sora turned bright red.

"No!" He said as Leon chuckled. It was nice for Hope to see atleast one smile.

"Im Hope." She said as she held out her hand. He grabbed her hand and he began to shake it.

"Im Leon..oh Sora i bet you can get all of these people happy if you let them know youre here."

 Cabbagelass: Oh, so now he's Pinkie Pie?!

 Johnel: .... No just no Leon is not that... never connect those two again.

Cabbagelass: . . . I meant Sora.

Johnel: Look there are just some names you don't invoke here okay.

 Leon said. Sora nodded and Hope got off his back. He jumped on a tall stone.

"Excuse me everyone!" Sora yelled as he was getting the people's attention. They all looked at him and waited.

"Im Sora, you might remember me as the person that went around saving people and putting a smile on their faces even in the darkest hour."

Johnel: Well actually half of these towns people would probably have never met Sora unless the Yuffie has unseen skill as a PR agent.

Sora said with a smile. Everyone else's smile grew bigger, and bigger as they realized who he was. Then everyone started to chaint

Cabbagelass: Ok, that just sounds like a racial slur!

his name. Sora jumped off and he walked to Hope and the crew. He looked her in the eyes.

 "Wow you must be a hero to them huh?" She asked. Sora nodded then alot of girls came and surrounded him. Hope was watching them as they kissed him everywhere they could get to him.

Cabbagelass: Technically that's rape . . .

 Johnel: Don't worry he is designed by Nomura it is going to be next to impossible for them to get those pants off.

 Hope's smile slowly fadded into a frown with each kiss he got.

 "We have to go." Roxas said as he grabbed her hand. She nodded and they walked to a castle. It had a balcony, it almost reminded them of Twilight Town. Roxas and Hope were still holding hands and they looked at eachother. Roxas's eyes were big and they sparkled, his smile was soft, and his hair was blowing in the wind.


 Hope's eyes sparkled as the moon finaly came up. Her hair was blowing in her face and her smile was soft like Roxas's. Their faces started to go closer, and closer. But Gofy came and shook his head. Hope looked at him while their lips were about to touch and he mouthed. "Whatabout Sora? He's an amazing guy please dont do it.."

Cabbagelass: This is so stupid . . . . .So very stupid. this isn't how you write romance, and really it's not that hard. If you want an internal conflict fine, but don't just . . . . do . . . . THAT!!!!! This is just . . . unpalletable!

 Johnel: Okay Gofy I see your point on why she should jump Sora's bones but who is going to argue for Roxas?... I said who is going to argue for Roxas....*Gets up and walks to the door* Lea that's your signal...

 Ienzo: *Warps in* There you are. Lea has somehow thrown himself into a universe of what you'd call a "harem show" and we are attempting to recover him. So he can't do whatever stupidity you have planned today. *warps out*

 Johnel: Damn had a whole bit planned out.

Hope stopped going forward and she pulled her head back. Roxas looked at her confused. She put her hair behind her ear.

"Maybe later, right now we need to find Donald and Gofy.."


 Johnel:*Takes out a guitar* Get ahold of yourself. *El-Kabong Cab's head*

 Cabbagelass: Thanks for getting me before I went into German. We would've been screwed if I went into German.

 Hope said as she let go of Roxas's hand. She started to walk forward and Roxas followed behind her.


Hey guys...whatcha think about it? Sora and Roxas started their competition for Hope's love on this chapter..and Roxas and Hope almost had a moment but Gofy stoped her from something that might have been a mistake in the future.

Cabbagelass: I'd like to go on record saying I hate you and everything you stand for.

If you think thats being a bad friend then your thinking wrong..thats being a good friend (Well to me)

Johnel: Yes ruin your friends romantic opportunities by forcing the continuation of a love triangle because they didn’t choose the one you were rooting for.

But anyway let me know whatcha guy think. Thanks( :

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Update: Sorry

This is just a quick update to apologize that anyonomus posting of comments has been disabled. When my email clogs up because someone thinks it is funny to try and sell stuff using my comments section I have to put a foot down. I have only went up to just registered user.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Set Up for the First Big Honking Q&A Special

               Hello there this is Johnel Lance and as you know we have alot of fun here in this Pocket Dimenson but as I've been updating the latest part of A Nightmare on Hyrule Field a thought struck me.

               While the interactions with other characters during the riffs and jokes implying of events outside this little slice of riffing fanfiction might leave some with questions about just what it means.

               Well fear not dear reader for I intended to fix that issue with the...

First Big Honking Q&A Special!
               Now let me explain how this will work.
  • I will be allowing questions not related directly to the riffs or the world building so if you want to say ask the "Kiss/Kill/Sleep With" question or something at random I will allow it.
  • All questions will need to be posted in the comments section of this post.
  • If your question retains to a specific line in one of the riffs the just copy paste the line in question to the comment.
  • Questions can be directed at me and any characters that have appeared and had dialogue in the riffs so far (Ienzo, Link, Ganon, ect.)
  • Questions for the first Q&A must be submitted by December 10th and questions posted afterwards will be backlogged for future Q&A sessions.
  • Please limit yourself to two questions. If you don't have blogger and are posting anonymously please be curtious and don't abuse that privelage.
  • Also please be sure to read already posted questions to prevent the same thing being asked over and over again.
             Thank you and I hope that we can all have alot of fun.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

The Quest for Proper Spelling Part 3: A Short Distraction

Ienzo:*Warps in* Okay though I normally warp to access this den of horrors but I have to ask why are you locked in here?

Johnel: Well remember Link’s reaction to the last part of My Inner Life?

Ienzo: The threat to take your ocular virginity with his sword?

Johnel: Yeah he’s been trying to go through with that lately so I thought I’d hang out in here until he calms down.

The drak ones suddeny stoped their meeting as the door open. Then some nazi and the russian woman from indian Jones and the crystal skull came inside.

Iezno: Already starting and I’m safe to assume that something horrible had already been committed?

Johnel: Well the Crystal Skull is post World War 2 so unless this is a more a Neo Nazi this won’t fly.

They all had gun and lots of bullets

Ienzo: Yes for a single projectile weapon can stop powerful magic users in their tracks.

and then the woman said "We have come to join the dark ones we want to kill Indian jones" "Ok"

Johnel: Wow the drak ones have low entrance requirements.

Ienzo: No for as you see they are looking to join the dark ones who work down the hall in room 2-B.

said Mordered and then they began to train.

Johnel:*Begins the sing* Oh let’s get down to bui….

Ienzo:*Slaps Johnel with his Lexicon* NO! I’m not doing that again.

Voldermor teached them some spell and Sauron give them some orc armor to wear. Also the woman joined the table with the other head dark ones. "Our last plan failed we need a new plan" said Vodelmor "Yes" agree lick king. "This tim

Johnel: Yes we will crush the heroes beneath Tim’s massive girth. It is….

 we need to attack secretly not with massive army" "Good idea" and so they made a plan to send a few nazi and ringwrath who survive last fight to go under secret tunel to find harry and Aurthr and the others. Meanwhile at the castel Harry and indian jones and Aurthr were setting out to meet frodo and gandalf so they could combin the power of crystal skull and ring and holey grail together into one weapon to slay drak ones.

Ienzo: Let’s us just ignore the logic that the grail being an object of Judeo-Christian myth, the Crystal Skull is the remains of an extraterrestrial species, and the Ring is an object of evil. Yes those three objects obviously combine into a holy super weapon. *If his eyes were rolling anymore they’d be spinning rims on a car*

They met Hagrid outside who carry their things and also lancelto and his nights. "where is gandalg and the others" asked harry "Don't know" reply hagrid "but maybe they are at the forbidden forest" "Ok we will go to forbidden forest" said Aurthr and then they set off.

 Soon harry and hagrid and Aurthr and indian jones had made it to forbidden forest.

Johnel: The knights apparently having been some monsters lunch off camera.

 It was dark and scare and they stood outside it. "We cannot see" said hagrid so harry made a lumos and his wand lighted up for them to see path ahead.

There was lots of black trees and grass and also it was misty. So they went in. Aurthr could see eyes in the tree so he pulled out his excaliber and stab the tree

Johnel:*Singing* Draw your sword and stick it in trees that have human features

Ienzo: *Singing* Journey toward the thicket and steal shit from woodl *Stops* Damn it stop trying to start musical numbers!

but there was nothing there. "What are you doin" said Hagrid "I thought there was somethin in it" "Ok" The keep walking until they saw a clearing. In the clearing was bones and skeleton on the floor and also dead body on the trees and blood on the floor. "I do not like it"


 said Indian jones. Suddenly as them walk in a loud roar. A three headed dog come into the clearing. "Fluffy!" exclaimed hagrid and he went and stroke fluffy on the head and rub his chin "Fluffy will help us find the frodo and hobbit" so fluffy did a sniff on the ground and then he found the trail.

Johnel: Anticlimax!

Ienzo: *Blinks* Is that all?

Johnel: Well yeah I’ve still got some other fics to go through and what not so you’re free to go for now.

Ienzo: Good I actually have important work to do. *warps out*


Friday, November 23, 2012

We're now Linked on Tvtropes!

The blog is now linked on Tvtropes!

There is links to my little experiment on both the MST and My Inner Life pages. Of course it seems half of you are already coming here from that already so you probably know it. Still now I wait with great enuthisam to see if one day there will actually be tropes listed for this little thing. Anways thanks love you guys and there is more stuff coming down the pipeline.

A Nightmare on the Ranch


Johnel: Okay after the mind fuck of the last part it is once again time to look at the little side stories to My Inner Life. That and we have Link sitting with a therapist right now to assure he has a at least somewhat sane mental state while in physical form.

Authors Notes: I have done it again.  I’m right back at it. This is my 3rd song fic, based on another one of Mariah Carey’s songs called “Butterfly”

Okay I’m going to level with you. I don’t hate this song. It is very meh to me. Still if you dislike it I’m providing the Skyfall theme below to act as a palate cleanser.

This one is focusing on Malon’s feelings for Link. How the relationship they had just didn’t seem to work out.

Johnel: You know I once act the Hero’s Shade if it was he and Malon that led to the Link in Twilight Princess but he seemed to keep dodging the question.

 She’s going to explain how they met and fell in love, but then it seemed that his love for her slowly started to slip away over time.

Johnel: You really don’t get the concept of show don’t tell have you author. Also yes maybe my above anecdote is a little hypocritical but I couldn’t get the Shade into the theater.

 Now its been 10 years since they were together, (This is after Link defeated Gannon

Johnel: Well someone got Gannon Banned again.

 but he did not go back in time) but it seems that Malon now 28 years old, still feels something for him, she found it hard to let him go then, but does she have to let him go again, even though he has found and married another?

Johnel: To answer your questions no because the author like putting Link’s love interests through psychological hell just for getting near “her man”.

Rated PG 13 for adult langue and themes.

Johnel: Alternate translation there is no sex scenes….

Disclaimer: Ok I know I do not own Malon, Link or any of the other Zelda peeps. They belong to Nintendo (Though I wish I owned Link hehehe)

Johnel: Already made the rape joke… so here is a picture of a fruit.

But I however do own Jenna and any another chars in this story that are not found in Zelda, so don’t use them without my permission. I’m just using the Zelda peeps for my stories.




A lesson learned in letting go.

The sky was setting off tones of deep pink, and lavender, the sun nearly fading from the horizon as Malon was ushering the last two horses into the stables for the night. It had been a long day and she was tired. After she secured the last two horses into their stalls, she walked out of the barn, latched the doors shut then went into the house.

Johnel: Well I’m already bored.

Ingo was busy cooking dinner while her dad, Talon was upstairs getting cleaned up. She decided to go upstairs herself and clean up as well before dinnertime.

Johnel: 28 and still living with her dad truly life is hell for the poor girl.

 She went into her room and stood in front of her vanity and begun to brush her long reddish blonde hair. Malon watched as the image in the mirror mimicked everything she did, right down to the twinkle that reflected from her crystal blue eyes.

Johnel: No shit it is a mirror next you are going to tell me cows go moo.

 She ran the brush down the full length of her hair, stopping for a moment after every few strokes. When she finished, she sat the brush down and proceeded to walk to the bathroom, when something caught her eye.

Johnel: Heee~eeeyy.

There on the nightstand sat something that always gave her bad memories. She walked over to it and picked up a gold bracelet made with Triforce

Johnel: Return of the Triforce spam everybody.

links lined with diamonds that Link had given to her when they were together. She gave the bracelet a scornful look as she walked over to the bed and sat down. Turning the bracelet over, she read the inscription that was engraved on the underside. “To my love Malon.” “I love you always.” Her face twisted into a scowl as she remembered the day Link gave it to her.

Johnel: Before the evil succubus Jenna appeared and took over his mind with her powers of indoctrination.

He gave it to her just days before he “broke it off” with her.

 Trust me I know about pulling a dick move break up…well now I feel like shit.

 His excuse was that he felt as if the flame between them had slowly flickered out and that his feelings for her were just not the same anymore. She remembered how long she cried that night, she practically cried herself to sleep. Then for the next few days, it seemed as if her heart had totally fallen out of her chest,

Johnel: This is probably a metaphor but I should be ready to call Ienzo just in case.

 the feelings she had for him still lingered strong inside her. Every time she saw him after that, she would breakdown and cry, it even happened more then once in the Market, causing her to feel like a total ass.

Johnel: No hun he was the ass and you should be glad he’s gone. 

But she held strong, held onto a hope that he would return to her, return to the love they once shared.

“When you love someone so deeply

They become your life

It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside

Blindly I imaged I could

Keep you under glass

Now I understand to hold you

I must open my hands

And watch you rise”


“Spread your wings and prepare to fly

For you have become a butterfly

Fly abundantly into the sun

If you should return to me

We truly were meant to be

So spread your wings and fly



Johnel: Where is this song coming from in context anyways? My guess is that the cows have been granted human speech and are starting a girl band.

She suddenly blinked, her head swarming with thoughts of “him”. Her gaze returned to the bracelet in her hands as she pulled it close to her heart. Small crystal white tears trickled slowly down her face as her body shuddered with uneasy feelings. “What is wrong with me?” “Why am I still upset about the breakup that happened between us ten years ago?”

Johnel: The author hates you and wants you to suffer.

 Malon asked herself softly. “Is it that I’m still in love with him?” “Have I really not gotten over him?” “Oh Goddesses this cannot be happening!” Malon cried as she came to the realization that she indeed was still in love with Link.

Johnel: You know I’m curious what her father thinks of this whole thing? Not that we’ll get a good answer but I’m bored so it is much easier to just come up with some WMG’s at this point.

“Oh gods why do I still have these damn feelings?” “He has moved on…he has already found and married another.” “I didn’t feel this way when I sung for him at his wedding, but why the hell am L feeling them now?” “Why….just why can’t I seem to break free of these empty feelings still wrenching my saddened heart?” She questioned herself again as she closed her big blue eyes and let her thoughts move to the day he called it to an end.

She remembered that it was a clear blue day, the sun high up as a gentle breeze blew threw the trees of Hyrule Field. A messenger had come from the Kokiri Forest with word that Link wished to speak with her with the utmost urgency.

Johnel: Why the lazy ass didn’t just come and tell her is another story.

 At first she thought Link was in trouble, but she soon realized that it was more then that. When she arrived at Link’s house(who was eighteen at the time)

Johnel: I tested out of having to take math with my prerequisites in college I think I can do 28-10=18  on my own thank you very much.

inside Kokiri Village, her worst nightmare was about to come true. When she looked into his eyes, the eyes that usually shimmered a deep blue were now dull and like ice. At that point she could tell that she was going to hear something she was not going to like.

“Malon I’m glad you’re here.” “I have something I really need to tell you.” She eyed him with a worried stare before he spat the words that were going to change her life forever. “Um….Malon…I don’t quite know how to explain this.” “I know that we have been together for quite some time now, but I feel that our love is not what it used to be.” It was with those words Malon knew that it was all going to end. “I feel that the flame between us has slowly flickered out and it’s just not the same.”

“ I just don’t think I have the same feelings for you as I once did.”


 “I hate to say this……but feel we should end this, but even though that there will be not love interest between us, I still care for you as a friend.” “Maybe just maybe there could be something between us later in time…..but just not now.” Those were the words she dreaded to hear and it was those words that caused her world to shatter around her. She took off crying, leaving Link behind as he pleaded for her to come back, but she blocked them out and ran home.

Johnel:*Singing* Runaway From the river to the street

 And find yourself with your face in the gutter

You're a stray for the salvation army

There is no place like home When you got no place to go

 Her eyes flung open as she came back to reality. She looked down at the bracelet again. “What the hell happened to us.” Malon questioned herself “Why did he leave me so…. so tattered and torn?” “What did I do so wrong that caused him to leave me so?” “Where did I go wrong?”

Johnel: You didn’t he did. You know I kind of want to punch this author at times.

“I have learned that beauty

Has to flourish in the light

Wild horses run unbridled

Or their spirit dies

You have given me the courage

To be all that I can

And truly feel your heart will

Lead you back to me when you're

Ready to land”


Memories of when they met begun to race threw her mind now. She remembered it like it was yesterday. The memories of those days always tasted like heaven, tasted like the sweet honey a bee makes. She never forgot the day when they met in Hyrule Market as ten year olds. He was so cute in his green clothes with that blue fairy floating around his head. She even remembered the name she used to call him…..Fairy Boy. She never thought too much of him then….but something inside her snapped when he showed up at Lon Lon Ranch seven years later as a fully grown handsome adult. When she first saw him mounted on Epona, the first thing that came into mind, was that he was the one she met as a child….the Fairy Boy from the forest, but when she looked into those eternal blue eyes…the eyes that always made her body swoon, she knew at that point it was love.

Johnel: Kind of wish I was reading a Link/Malon right now it would allow me to ignore the fact Jenna exists in this universe.

She remembered the long pause between them as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes and the stuttered words that soon followed. And it was soon after that, they fell in love and got together. For a while all seemed well. The love between them was strong, so strong that they even experienced sharing a “special part” of each other. She remembered the first time they shared the most sacred thing two people can share.

Johnel: Yes the day they shared Xbox Gamertags was truly a special occasion that made the heavens sing.

 She remembered it like it was yesterday, the feeling left behind a certain glow around her. And it was the feel of his lean infatuated body naked against hers that left a strong feeling of a lingering desire behind in her own body, leaving her with the longing to taste his honey once more.


Then it all seemed to end in a blink of an eye. One thing she knew she was the happiest person alive, then the next thing she knew her whole world was crashing down on her. She got up off the bed and walked over to the mirror once more and stared into the image that was looking back at her. “How could Link leave me so...alone.” She questioned the image in the mirror. “Why did he abandon me?”

Johnel: Plot.

 He face twisted into a scowl as she remembered the feeling after he told her it was over. “He did this on purpose, I can see it now. He had to!” “I mean, what else could he have done to leave me stricken and confused!” “It’s not even that, he even once said that there just might have been a chance for love again….. a chance to rekindle the flame between us, but did I ever get that chance……


“Spread your wings and prepare to fly

For you have become a butterfly

Fly abundantly into the sun

If you should return to me

We truly were meant to be

So spread your wings and fly



She shook her head. “No I didn’t, I never got that chance!” “Now I’m left with nothing….nothing but a broken heart.” “To this day I have been asking myself what I did so wrong for him to have left me like this, but I have yet to get the answer I seek.” “But maybe it was more, maybe I have been blinded in some way.” “Was Link really that unhappy and I was so blinded by love that I didn’t notice he was slowly slipping away from me?” “Was I so caught up in myself I didn’t see that the flame between us was slowly dying?” “I guess I will never know, but one thing I do know, I was negligent to his happiness.”

Johnel: No you were not. This version of Link I realize now is just some asshole stringing along so many poor girls until he found one as manipulative and vile as he is. You don’t need him and you should move on and find your own happiness. Kick these false reasons to the curb and continue on into the future!

“But even in light of all that has happened I’m still in love with him.” “I’ve tried to convince myself I was over him, but in reality I wasn’t.” “Even to his day I still long for him, the feeling taking over my mind every waking day.” “I cannot help the way I feel, it’s not something I can just throw away that easily.” “Maybe I’m just clinging onto a useless hope, maybe I’m hoping for the impossible, but one thing I do know, I have been lost without him ever since that day…..the day he left me so…..alone.

“I can't pretend these tears

Aren't overflowing steadily

I can't prevent this hurt from

Almost overtaking me

But I will stand and say goodbye

For you'll never be mine

Until you know the way it feels to fly”


“So spread your wings and prepare to fly

For you have become a butterfly

Fly abundantly into the sun

If you should return to me

We truly were meant to be

So spread your wings and fly



“By the goddesses, I'm doing it again!” “I just don't understand it, not at all.” “After all, if I am so disappointed in Link, then why can't I forget

him?” “Why are these feelings still plaguing me?” “Sigh” “Maybe its just because I’m finding it so hard to let go.….to let go of the one person that I truly loved.”


“So flutter through the sky, Butterfly,”


“God how I'm going to miss those blue eyes, the ones that always twinkled when he stared with them into mine, the ones that always shimmered with loving glances.” “Maybe I’m just fantasizing, but I will never forget those eyes for as long as I live.” “Perhaps, I have come to the realization that Link indeed became a butterfly and needed to know what it felt like to fly,”

Johnel: Oh so she could hear the cows band practice.

“Spread your wings and fly, Butterfly,”


Perhaps since he did not return to me…..then maybe we weren’t meant to be……




Well what did ya think? Yay Nay? Well pleases tell me what ya thought, I’m dying to know. I think I’m getting better at these song fics. I kinda find those to be the easier ones to write, but I need impute on just how good you think they are. Thanx.

Johnel: You know what I think….. this aggression will not stand. I shall for the good of this universe and the next tear your words down like a wall of oppression! I’ll go beyond what is possible I will survive My Inner Life and come out stronger in the end. Just who the hell do you think I am!

Ienzo: *Staring at the spectacle* What the hell is wrong with you?

Johnel:*Rubs back of head* Gurren Lagann marathon now what’s up?

Ienzo:*Takes out clipboard* The one classified as OoT Link is out of his session with Ms. Chambers and was looking for you something about his sword and ocular virginity I think.

Johnel: I see well... I should probably go hide then. Push the button Mister.