Well I was finishing Takio on finishing the Case File and I realized something.....
So I decided it was time to go into the pictures file and do eight more Gamer Chick comics. Why eight? Well because there is a Christmas Special and I'll need to do that in one go. Also it might be connected to having just done a college course all about comic books and for it reading works such as Watchmen and Saga, I'm serious volume one has been fantastic and it is on going so pick it up if you can,my hope for comics in general started to rise. I needed to dash that quickly. So for now enjoy.
Ever here teenagers talk and wish they could all get kicked in the face by a mule? Well that is reading this comic. So it seems the artist is going to do the hair over the eyes thing and it is annoying as ever. Well that and half the time it seems the eyes are just lines laid at the vague area they would be normally and heck in you can't even see one of the lines that well in the second panel for it merges with the line for her hair. Also why have the visible ears shouldn't her hair cover that too?
Another thing I'm starting to notice is that uh.... Koromon Hat Woman is supposed to play the straight man but having that Koromon on makes no sense in that context. I mean does it protect from the aliens mind controlling rays or something?
Also once again the comic is terribly unfunny. I mean first if the idea is praying to the gaming gods why would she be facing the TV? I mean wouldn't it be better to have like old game consoles set up on a pentagram and make it look like some form of demonic ritual is going to take place. You know put in some effort over just having a smoking sombrero next to it. Also couldn't the prayer itself be for something with more comedic value? Just good games and food doesn't make a joke. I think this was before Duke Nukem Forever, quality of the game being ignored for now, came out you could wish for that. Heck you could modernize it and make the prayer for Versus XIII or whatever it is called now to release and not suck. So with that on to the next one.
So yeah and unfunny joke about playing a violent game to unwind. So few questions. Why does what is supposed to be the controller look like a black rubber ball? Why does what she is sitting on make it look like her feet have become giant? Why has the length, shade, and placement of her hair completely different? Why does the other chick have a strand of hair drawn in so badly it looks like it is running from her nose? Why does the GTA disk look like a wild card in Uno? Why didn't the artist remember to clean up the lines for her fucking teeth so there isn't spikes jabbing into the characters eye? Why the fuck did she spell Vice City as fucking Bice City? Not like she is going to fucking sell this or anything so why the fuck does it have an alternate title.
Also you know it be great to see just what at work is so bad to make her act like this. Once again you need context. So I feel nothing for this annoyance of a character.
Okay so first I have a question. Am I the only person that has had a positive shopping experience at a Gamestop? No seriously the people there are nice, it has an ok selection, and heck I've gotten some good deals out of trades I've done. I mean yeah there are issues with the pricing at times and the two talking heads they have to play on the screen hanged up can be annoying but still it isn't like walking into a satanic cult or anything. Also why does that one fucker work there? No seriously who the fuck hasn't hired that guy for sexual harassment? Also moron could talk to another employee. Unless our "hero" is such an annoying ball of cliché that the regular employees actually refuse to deal with her.
By the way. A blank fucking scroll colored in with what looks like black fucking marker tells us nothing! I mean does she want fucking nothing for Christmas!
Yes we know she wants one. Also can the employees even buy stuff on shift? Why would he just give it to her? Why the fuck doesn't she just go to another store? Why does his legs look like a deformed lump of playdough? Why the fuck can't you even have it so his foot properly attaches to his leg you idiot! Seriously do you know what human legs look like at all?! That and hell in the second panel it doesn't even look like she has a wrist.
So fucking is involved in the date. How obvious. Also fuck your bullshit anime eyes. Finally....
Just go to a different fucking store or Wallmart you stupid fucker! You do not have to agree and I hope the next strip is just you going somewhere else or I will have lost all caring for your dumbass self insert!
Also on the art don't add text faces to dialogue it makes you look like you have a third graders grasp of writing and why does she have a maggot burrowing into the top of her ear in the last panel? That and the way she draws her chest is starting to look like...
I mean I get it is a shot from the side but still something just looks off about it. Add on top of that the usually weirdness when drawing her chest reading this comic is like walking into the uncanny valley for tits.
Looking at how empty the theater is they must have been the two people that actually saw Basic Instinct 2.
Well ok that chest issue was fixed. Now she just has no arms, half her hair gone, and the guy has giant shovel heads for hands now.
Also I kind of feel sorry for the guy. I mean yeah he is a bit of a creep but at the same time the object of his affection is an unlikable fusion of yaoi fangirl and early 2000's female nerd stereotypes. Though based on how awful they both are it must be destined by the red string of fate. Ok there is only one left so let's get it over with.
"Yes I went on a date with him because I'm have so few braincells left that I didn't know what a Wallmart is and even though I couldn't even write down what you wanted because I spilled ink on the paper you better feel appreciative of my sacrifice!"
Yeah so I haven't even chuckled so far. Which honestly I'm starting too think I should create a grade lower than F like G just to express my distaste with this comic. Still yelling at it and venting is a good stress relieve so keep an eye out for more.
Johnel: *siting in
the theater* Ok so one of the clones today said we are getting an intern that
wants to riff. Supposedly they are supposed to show up around now..
Takio: *Pops up from
the seat next to you* Hi.
Johnel: Oh someone
appearing out of nowhere must be a day ending in "y". Anyways the papers
said bring some work for us to riff in order to test your abilities.
Takio: Oh look, a
cynical man on the internet!I found the
unicorn! Speaking of unicorns, lookie what they gave me for our project! *hands
over papers*
Johnel: I wasn't
talking about... great you've got to make me break character here. Ok first I realize I write other character on this blog and other contributors do as well but it is part of the joke there is a difference. Also despite making fun of what is to follow I do not support any form of real life harm being done against this person. I will also not post fanfics depicting the person getting murdered with superheros in it for no reason on a tumblr and say I like it. Now
Takio anything you'd like to say before we try to get back in character?
Takio: Yeah, being
mean and bulling people isn't a nice thing to do.Everyone should be able to do their own thing
and be safe.BUT!When someone outright tells lies to his own
community and threatens to hurt people for liking the same thing as him, it's
more than a little uncalled for.So,
yeah, while it's not okay to be unnaturally cruel to people who like unusual
things, it's another when they're just as cruel and mean, and try to act like
some kind of martyr. Also how did you know my name?
Johnel: I don’t know
let’s just say it was on the papers or something. Without any further
disclaimers or distractions this comes from a Q&A session that can be found
at the Engagement of Twilight Sparkle Tumblr which is mostly for documenting
the online presence of this riffs subject matter. Let’s start with question
number one.
"1. What does Twiley think of you posting pictures to
the internet of you two engaged in sexual intercourse? If she is as adventurous
as she appears, exploring S&M, diaper fetish etc, would she be ok with true
pornography, and would you consider making a video? It does not make me
sexually aroused myself, I just wonder where the boundaries are, a “red
line" if you will."
Johnel: Well hey off
to a great start with talking about the sex. You know it isn't too late to back
out. Maybe let us look at something else.
Takio: She thinks
"STOP DOING THIS TO ME!!" Seriously, Twilight barely started making
friends at the beginning of the show, why would she be okay with this?
Twilight : “I know the biggest way I’ve changed since I’ve
been living on Earth has been my feelings on the topic of sex. I’ve become very
comfortable with the subject over the last year I’ve spent in your world. It
did take a lot of practice though.
Takio: Oh right!Just change the narrative!How silly of me!
Johnel: Holy crap
this cheekymonkey, he is answering in character. I mean who does
that?
Takio: You mean,
besides us?
Johnel: That's
different. One you are an intern so you don't get multiple character
interaction yet. Two we aren't fucking or trying to fuck any of them. Three it is part of the joke and not some sort of delusional state.
I’ve become very comfortable with the subject over the last
year I’ve spent in your world. It did take a lot of practice though. The first
5 months I lived here I didn’t know the first thing about sex, and even trying
to talk about it was really embarrassing. Humans love talking about sex but
it’s just not something ponies discuss very often in Equestria.
Johnel: Yes for
everyone here loves to swap detailed accounts of our sex lives. Well ok it depends I guess.
Takio: Since when do
humans talk about sex like THAT?
Johnel: Since the
internet. Though does that mean he molested her in those first five months?
Takio: How rude!He should at least buy her a drink first!
From what I’ve read the United States military once had a
similar social policy called “Don’t ask, don’t tell."
Johnel: Go eat a firecracker you plush purple pony!
Takio: Oh yes,
because a man having sex with a stuffed animal is totally the same as years and
years of oppression and discrimination by people in the military. Know what
else?A scooter and a monster truck both
have wheels!Exactly the same too!
so he was almost as nervous and clueless as I was. I should
tell you about the first time he tried giving me oral sex some day. Jin knew
very little about female anatomy and accidentally licked my urethra thinking it
was my clitoris! If the neighbors could have heard how loud I shrieked in
surprise they might have thought about calling the police!
Johnel: Well you know
if the petrified pony plush you were licking could make sounds.
Takio: And the police
come and take the crazy man into custody.Plush pony goes free.
But that’s a story for another day. The point is that I’ve
learned so much about the subject since I’ve been here with Jin that I have no
problem at all talking about it now and we try all sorts of wild and crazy
things in the bedroom whenever we think of something new either of us wants to
try. As long as it’s not painful or just plain gross
Takio: You mean like,
ALL OF IT?
Johnel: Yes because
the time he apparently wrote about diaper play and her pissing in them was
totally sanitary.
Takio: OH GOD, I
forgot about that! Wait, stuffed animals piss themselves?Where did he buy this fucking toy?!
Johnel:
Takio: ... He
didn't.... he didn't molest this toy too did he?
I’m up for trying just about anything, and there are even a
few strange things I’ve learned that I really like. Like being tickled! It’s
amazing how different I am now from the naive and nervous little filly I was
when Jin and I first started sleeping together. He’s taught me almost as much
about the Magic of love and how to express it as my Ponyville friends have
taught me about the Magic of friendship.
Johnel: So one day is
she going to go home and mindrape them into slightly scared schizo sex slaves?
Takio: Did you just
compare this gross, horny pervert to your magical, loving, truly understanding
and compassionate friends?
But you wanted to know what I think about making
pornography, right? Jin and I have made pornography before to share with a few
of our friends,
Takio: Stop there
pervert! If you’re going to pretend Twilight Sparkle is talking to you, DO IT
RIGHT!
but those pictures got leaked from the private chat room we
shared them in and after that we decided not to share any more explicit
material. It was fun and exciting to try filming ourselves together, we still
do it on occasion, but we don’t share those pictures or recordings with anypony
else anymore. I don’t mind having pictures of just me shared, because there is
already over five thousand explicit drawings of me on the internet that look
just like me and anyone other than Jin who sees my body in this world isn’t
going to be able to see my genitals anyway. Jin’s genitalia on the other hoof
is plainly visible to anyone who might see the pictures, so we keep those to
ourselves.”
Johnel: First you are
probably under guessing the number of pictures dear. Also I love this part where
he has to metaphorically preform a rubber burning swerve avoid hitting the brick wall that is reality.
Takio: Me? Oh
no!Everyone can watch me naked all they
want!But JIN!NOOOOOOOOO!!!! "Because I don't matter,
only he matters!"Oi, this is going
to get painful, isn't it?
Johnel:
Besides it was your idea.
2. How many Twilight related items do you have, Jin?
Not including things I own multiples of (such as blind bag
figures and trading cards) I own 83 different unique pieces of Twilight Sparkle
merchandise.
Takio: I have nothing
to add to that.I think it speaks for
itself, don't you?
Johnel: Besides the fact he could be on an episode of one of those shows about hoarders if this keeps up?
At least half of them were gifts from friends and
supporters, but I have bought quite a bit of merchandise myself. It’s been
pretty much a case of whenever I find myself in a store and see a new piece of
Twilight themed merchandise on the shelf I buy it. Twi is pretty cool about my
collecting of merchandise featuring her likeness at this point, though she was
a little freaked out by it all at first (as she covered in Chapter 3 of our
story).
Johnel: Fantastic
there is a story to go with the insanity.
Takio: There's a name
for people who decorate their house with the image of one person.It's "Stalker".
The only thing she asks is that when we’re out in public
together I refrain from wearing shirts with her likeness on them, because
that’s just kind of awkward for her and we don’t want to be one of those
couples going around wearing shirts with each other’s faces on them. She only
brought this up a couple months ago though, thus the reason you’ll see lots of
pictures on here from earlier in our relationship where we’re out together and
I’m wearing a Twilight themed shirt.
Johnel: From before
the madness was in full filly fornicating bloom apparently.
Takio: I think
T-Shirts would be the LEAST creepy thing about your relationship there pal.
3. Beside you mom, what do the rest of your family and
friends think of your relationship with Twilight? Are they against your
relationship? Or supportive?
All my friends and family in real life know about our
relationship and they’ve all been wonderfully supportive of it.
Takio: Sure son!I'm totally okay with you fucking a plush horse,
giving up any chance I had of ever being a grandmother and knowing joy again!
Johnel: They drank
themselves into a stupor years ago most likely.
Takio: Is there no
problem alcohol can’t fix?
Johnel:
The initial reaction when I told them about us was always
“That’s kind of weird.” but after explaining the dynamics of our relationship
and how things work they were all totally in support of it. My family as a
whole took the stance of “We don’t care if it’s weird because it makes you
happy and it’s not hurting anyone, and we support your happiness”. My friends,
non-bronies included, took the same stance after reading our story. They’ve all
seen how happy Twilight and I are together and how well we get along, and not a
single person we know in real life has ever discouraged our relationship after
learning everything about it. That goes for Twi’s side of the family as well. I
guess we’ve just got really open minded families and friends. Lol
Johnel: First I doubt
that. Second on the scenario that this isn't a plush toy he has still kidnapped
and molested a political figure into brainwashed sickening sexual servitude. He is probably
getting a horn in the gut is all I'm saying.
Takio: "My
friends, non-bronies included, took the same stance after reading our
story."That’s because He doesn't
have any.
4. I’m aware that you feel upset to see another people who
are in relationship with Twi like yourself. However, what do you think of their
“Twilights”? Do you think of them as an alternate universe version of your
Twilight? Or are those Twilights are actually one and the same with your Twi,
and you think she’s cheating on you?
The funny thing is that this question is actually one we’ve
never had to deal with, because to this day we’ve yet to meet anyone else in a
relationship with any other version of Twilight.
Johnel:
We actually have evidence to contrary when it comes to this statement. That and your reaction to the information was so unnerving and unhinged it acted as close enough to justify the rest of this riff. Intern exhibit A!
Takio:
To explain this better, I think you can fairly easily break
down the community of Pony Lovers into 3 distinctly different categories.
Johnel: Yeah oral,
vaginal, and anal.
A. People with “waifu”s - These are people who have a
romantic attraction to, a crush on, or are sometimes even in love with a
particular character but don’t actually share their lives with them in any way.
Takio: In other
words, YOU!
There are a LOT of these people and they will often
integrate themselves into our community because they do have a romantic
attraction to a particular pony, but that’s really all it is. They may still
engage in chat room role play, pretending to have a conversation with the pony
of their affections and making up dialog for them, or write stories about the
life they would like to have with that pony, but at the end of the day that’s
really all it is.
Johnel: So like what
it is for you?
Them pretending, making up dialog, and writing stories of
the life they’d like to have with a particular pony. There’s no version of that
pony actually living with or conversing with them, it’s just a big game of
pretend to make themselves feel a little happier. And we can’t really fault
them for that, because everyone wants to find their own happiness in one way or
another. Twilight and I jokingly call these people “Wafers”.
Johnel:
Takio: Because it's
thin, tasteless and unsatisfying.In
other words, YOU!!
B. Tulpamancers - These people are similar to those with
waifus in that they love a particular pony, but unlike the Wafer people the
Tulpamancers have actually (either intentionally or inadvertently) split off a
part of their consciousness from the rest of their mind and had that portion of
their brain manifest itself as a separate personality with the visual
appearance of the pony they have affections for. The big thing that separates
Tulpamancers from Wafers is that the Tulpamancers are actually talking to and
living their lives with a separate sentient being they created that resembles
the pony they love. They can hear the voice of, interact with, and sometimes
even visually see and touch their tulpa partner.
Takio: So, a
relationship that's only in the mind and can only be seen properly by the viewer.In other words, YOOOU!!!
Johnel: So having a
voice in your head is romantic now.
Mind you the tulpa they create can never actually be the
pony they love, but they can give their tulpa the physical appearance and
sometimes a few basic personality traits of the pony in question. The tulpa’s
overall personality and mannerisms are something they cannot choose though,
every tulpa will be a unique being with their own thoughts, feelings, and ways
of reacting to things. Just like how you can’t pick the personality of a child
you and your partner might have you also cannot pick the personality of a tulpa
you create. So while a tulpa can resemble a certain pony in some ways they can
never actually be them. But for some people this is good enough, and we know
many who are very happy with their tulpa partners.
Takio: So it's
somewhat like the real thing, but not quite the real thing.In other words, YYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!
Johnel:
One of Twilight’s best online pony friends she converses
with regularly via text is actually tulpa who looks like Princess Celestia (but
again, has a completely different personality) and they get along great.
Johnel: So one of the
50 tumblr ask blog personas that popped up when the show got popular?
Takio: Somehow I
doubt Twilight would be okay with someone else impersonating her teacher and
ruler.
A common trait you’ll notice with tulpas is that both they
and their “host” (the proper name for the person who created them) know that
they are a tulpa and know how they came into being. Tulpas are almost
universally fully sentient incorporeal beings who do not inhabit physical
bodies, are aware that they are a tulpa, and exist in flux between the physical
reality of their host and an imaginary plane of existence created by their host
called a “wonderland” that can be pretty much any place they they want.
Takio: So, a sort of
world where they can only be viewed, touché,d or interacted with one person and
one person only.No one else can see it.
Hmmm...hate to spoil some of this guy’s
answers, but later on, he goes into a discussion about multiple layers of
reality with Twilight. So, he's saying he experiences this sort of thing
too.Johnel, what is it I wanna say
here?
Johnel: Well really
you are wrong in this case.
Takio: Me?
Johnel: Yes you see
the Tupla doesn't exist physically to all but you or I could interact with the
Twilight plush. I'm mean sure it probably was stained with more man gravy than
gak in a season opener. Yet still it is intractable so it could be lit on fire or something. Still all this talk reminds me of a song...
Unlike a Wafer, a Tulpamancer isn’t just a person playing
pretend and making up stories, their tulpa partner is just as real and self
aware as any other person. They just happen to be created by the human mind and
exist in an incorporeal form.
Johnel: So ghosts
then.
Takio: In other
words... ehhh, too easy.
C. Pony Lovers - These people are so rare that there’s not
even a proper term for them, so “Pony Lovers” will have to do. These are people
like myself who one day found themselves living with a completely sentient and
self aware being that only they could perceive, who was as far as either of
them could tell the exact same pony you’ve become familiar with from the TV
show about them.
Johnel: Well except
in the show they have no genitals.
Takio: And the other
personality traits you don't particularly like about them.
We’ve only met a small handful of other Pony Lovers during
the year or so the community has been around, but there are some pretty
universal traits that define relationships like ours.
Takio: Mild insanity?
Johnel: Fuck they’re
unionizing.
First, while they are fully sentient and self aware like a
tulpa, unlike tulpas the ponies in question usually inhabit some kind of
physical body (generally a plushie) and have the exact same personality and
mannerisms as can be observed on the TV show about them. They are for all
intents and purposes that pony, with little to no discernible differences in
personality.
Takio: I love how he
just assumes that all his friends also fuck stuffed animals.Like it's just Sunday afternoon or something.
Like a tulpa they are their own unique being separate from
the human they are living with who their human partner can hear speak and have conversations
with, but unlike a tulpa they don’t have a “wonderland” and tend to exist
strictly in the physical world around them rather than inside their partner’s
mind. There are a few of these ponies like Twilight who do travel back and
forth between Equestria and Earth on occasion, but most of them are “Earth
locked” so to speak.
Johnel: Just as I
wouldn’t want to be in pony place all the time due to certain factors I feel
the ponies would not like to be on Earth all the time either.
Takio: Wait, wait,
wait, they can't leave!? Doesn't that
make what you're doing imprisonment? That's
illegal, you shithead!
And unlike a tulpa who comes into the world with a blank
slate in terms of their memories, these ponies all remember growing up and
living their lives in Equestria before they came here. How they wound up here
varies from pony to pony, but as far as any of them can tell they did come from
a very real physical place called Equestria and somehow found themselves here
on Earth. Again, people sharing their lives with ponies like these (such as
Twilight and I) are so incredibly rare that they make up less than 5% of the
community. The overwhelming majority of the community is comprised of people
with waifus and Tulpamancers, and there are less than half a dozen of us who’s
partner is a very real and completely sentient pony from another world.
Johnel: How much you want to bet he has talked
"Twilight" into a foursome with at least one of them.
Takio: Oh, he's not
like that. He probably just 'borrowed' his friends pony for a threesome.He doesn't care about people, remember?
Now that I’ve explained these different types of people
within the community it should make a lot more sense when I tell you that we’ve
never actually met anyone else in a relationship with Twilight Sparkle. And we
believe it’s almost certain that there are no others, because as far as we can
tell the Twilight I live with is the one and only Twilight Sparkle from
Equestria.
Johnel: Ah ha you
fool but what about string theory?!
Takio: Bwah?
Johnel: You know a
multiverse.
Takio: What’s that
have to do with pony sex?
Johnel: That by the
theory she is not the one and only Twilight Sparkle.
Takio: Ooooh!Clever boy! Makes his earlier threat seem
more frivolous now, doesn't it?
Johnel: Unless he
went Superboy Prime yeah.
We have met several people who considered Twilight their
waifu, but we have never met someone who created a tulpa to resemble Twilight
or anyone else who actually lived with any other version of her. If we ever met
anyone else who did claim to be actually living with Twilight we’d both be
extremely skeptical and most likely dismiss them as someone who considered
Twilight their waifu and was making things up, but we’d also be open to the
possibility that they may have created a tulpa who was very similar to
Twilight. In any case, be that other Twilight a tulpa that resembled her or a
mere wishful imagining on the part of the person in question, they wouldn’t
actually be Twilight Sparkle. To the best of our knowledge my Twiley is the one
and only. =)
Takio: Someone who
lives a life with Twilight Sparkle. In
other words, YOU, YOU COCK-SUCKING, ASS KISSING, BUMBASS, BUTT-FUCKING, SHIT
EATING, DUMBSHIT!!!!!
Johnel: Calm down. Don't
hate him, you should pity him my dark
apprentice.
Takio: But he's
violating Twilight Sparkle.
Johnel: Not really he
violates a plush toy when he could be taking the valuable time of a real
person.
Takio: Oh.Well that’s okay then. By the way, for those
counting at home, Jin is at level 9 on the Bullshiting Myself meter
5. Jin, you think that the plush is only a “vessel” for
Twilight Sparkle’s soul, right? What will happen when the plush get
irreparable? Can you just replace the plush with another Twilight Sparkle plush
and have her use that plush as her new vessel? Or does it have to be the plush
you currently have, or else it won’t work?
Takio: This is
actually a good question.I mean, all
that semen can't be good for the stitching.
That’s a tough question, because it’s one we don’t really
know the answer to. We have talked about the possibility of seeing if Twilight
could move herself into a new body at some point, but we’re honestly not even
sure if that’s possible. Twilight has learned to leave her physical body and
trot around on her own in an incorporeal form (something she only figured out
how to do last month), but having her take up residence in a new body is
something we’ve never had the opportunity to try.
Takio: Wait, wait, if
she can leave her body, how is that different from the tulpa thing?
Johnel: There is a body
for him to molest.
It takes a lot of effort for her to leave her body and when
she returns after a short time she’s always exhausted, so it’s something she’s
been exploring pretty slowly and cautiously. Who knows if it’s even possible
for her to move into a new body, but we do intend to try and find out one day.
We have no idea what would happen if her physical body was destroyed or
damaged, but since she is completely connected to it and does perceive all 5
senses (touch, sight, sound, smell, and taste) through the body she has we can
only imagine that she would likely die if her body was to be destroyed. It’s
for that reason that we are very cautious about taking care of her body and
keeping it in good condition, since we’re not sure if she could ever move
herself into a different one.
Johnel: Well
following your logic there is her real body which she could go back to. You
know the one with moving limbs.
Takio: The one in
Equestria?Where she is with her
friends?Where she is happy?
Johnel: Yes.
Takio: Well we don't
want that now, do we?
6. Dear Jin,
I have been following this blog for several weeks now, and I
have noticed that in your last deviantart chapter, ‘Life, Unicorns, and The
Pursuit of Happiness,’ you mentioned that you visited a psychologist who deemed
your relationship with Twilight Sparkle as psychologically healthy. As a
psychology student (I’m not a psychologist myself, so I’m not here to toot my
own horn lol), I find this rather baffling on how he/she had come to that
conclusion.
I’m not trying to judge you or anything, but although you
claim that your relationship is not hurting anyone, I think to some extent you
are hurting yourself. It seems you are shielding yourself from reality which
could sabotage genuine self-growth. In other words, you have become so consumed
in your fantasy relationship that in the long run, it may psychologically hurt
you rather than make you happy. Whether this obsession is pathological, I don’t
have the expertise to determine if that’s so. But please consider the fact that
the thought of other people being in love with Twilight makes you
psychologically depressed and physically ill, which causes personal distress on
your part, Unfortunately, Twilight is a public figure and not a private entity,
so this possibility is inevitable. She is a fictional character that is present
in various lives of fans of the show. People will use her image and
characterization in fanmade creations as they do, whether you support those
creations or not.
Anyhow, I apologize for the rambling on my part. I tend to
do that when I’m particularly curious about something lol. So, my question is
for you: What was your psychologist’s explanation on why your relationship is
considered healthy rather than pathological?
Hopefully I haven’t offended you in any way because that is
not my intention. I hope to hear a response, and I wish the best of luck for
you! :)
Johnel: Well there go
half our talking points.
Takio: By the way,
the TL;DR is: Nothing about you points to being psychologically sound.What the hell dude?
It’s quite alright, we’re both used to criticism from those
who might not understand or accept our relationship. We get a lot of that on
the internet lol Anyway, the reasoning the psychologist we visited gave for
deeming our relationship healthy and supporting it was that it wasn’t causing
me any harm and seemed to him to be a very happy and positive relationship. He
said it would be a very different matter if Twilight was telling me to jump in
front of a bus or something like that, but since she has never told me to hurt
myself or others
Johnel: You know
besides ruining relationships he has with real people.
Takio: Wonder how
many guys he had to visit to get that answer.
Johnel: None they are most likely made up.
Takio: Touché.
and we clearly love each other a great deal he saw no harm
in our relationship. It was not negatively impacting my ability to interact
with others, was no detriment to my work or social life, and was not causing me
to show any of the potentially harmful signs of schizophrenia or any other
mental illness.
Takio: So says the invisible
Doctor in my head! He and Twilight like to chat ALL the time!
Johnel: Nothing new
in the next two questions so moving on.
9. If your house was on fire, would you run back in for your
Twilight Sparkle?
Of course I would! I think anyone would run into a burning
building to save someone they truly loved.
Takio: I GOTTA
PROTECT MY COLLECTABLES!!!
10. Why is ‘Twilight’ reporting on Earth to Equestria? What
would they do with that information?
Twilight : “Earth culture and history is of great interest
to Princess Celestia because it’s something new that she’s never heard of until
recently.
Johnel: Isn't there
like a to Earth portal somewhere in that world. Or was that only for average TV
special quality programs that get forced into theaters?
Takio: Not that it
matters, "Twilight" tells him it was all fake.To be fair, the movie was pretty good, they
stuck to the characters and the story was fun.Sure they crammed every high school cliché in the book in there!Sure it all happens in a span of three
days!SURE, none of the characters are
dressed properly! But you got to admit, Hasbro had some balls to take the
ponies out of MY LITTLE PONY!
Johnel: Well my counter to that is a villain that was cliché by the standards of cheap
kids movies you found in a Blockbuster during when VCR was being phased out and
that it made Twilight having a sexual attraction to humans canon, well until they retcon and ignore it at all turns, apparently.
Takio: She wasn't
that bad, she was ju-Wait WHAT?!?!
She takes my reports, catalogs the information, and stores
it either in her personal library or the Canterlot Archives. I don’t know
which, but I’m sure she’s not doing anything malicious with the information I
give her about your world. I swear she’s not planning an invasion or anything!”
Takio: Knowing Celestia,
that's a lie..
11. Being in love aside, wouldn’t it kind of a step down for
‘Twilight Sparkle’ to go from being an all-powerful immortal god/member of
royalty in Equestria, with tons of magical powers, ‘her’ pony family and her
friends, as well as the world of ponies to being locked in a body with no
control, not being able to speak to anyone and being surrounded by a totally
alien species?
Takio: HURRAY!Someone with a brain in his skull!
Twilight : “You have no idea how stressful it was having the
future of an entire nation depending on you all the time! Have you ever had to
save your country from imminent destruction? I have, twice! Three times if you
count the Crystal Empire! Being a powerful Unicorn or Alicorn might sound like
a lot of fun but when you have to carry around the weight of the world on your
shoulders all the time it gets a little tiring.
Takio:
Seriously!What the hell!This isn't some lazy-ass pony lay about, this
is Twilight Sparkle, the hardest working, most learned student of Princess
Mother-fucking Celestia.If this dipshit
expects me to believe that she would give up her duties so she could dick
around doing nothing, he's on LSD!
My friends are wonderful and I can still go visit them
whenever I want, but even if I wasn’t in love with Jin it wouldn’t be hard to
choose between a life of daily stress and peril and getting to live somewhere
I’m free to spend all my time researching any subjects I like at my leisure. My
love for Jin is the main reason I’m living here with him, but the side benefits
aren’t bad at all! The freedom to learn about anything I want at my own pace,
access to the internet, libraries that put the Canterlot Archives to shame with
their collections, some of the most amazing food I’ve ever tasted, and none of
the stress of having to save the world from impending disaster once a year. Our
sex life isn’t too bad either. *chuckles*”
Johnel: So he is just
ignoring canon completely at this point?
Takio: What happened
to you Twilight?You used to be so
cool...
12. Are you really planning to spend the rest of your life
with your ‘Twilight Sparkle’? Will you be carrying the plushie around in 50 or
60 years?
I sure plan to. Though with any luck Twi will find a way to
move into a new body at some point if the one she’s had so far begins to
deteriorate at some point down the line. No matter what though I’ll always stay
by her side, whether she goes through half a dozen different bodies over the years
or always stays in the one she woke up here in.
Takio: That plush is
going to smell awful....
Johnel: It can
probably stick to walls by that point it’d be so covered in man gravy.
14. Does Jin realize that when he compares the lack of
acceptance for human-pony relationships to past treatment of
interracial/homosexual relationships, or when he invokes Dr. King, that he
comes off as incredibly offensive, particularly because no one has died or been
imprisoned for wanting to marry their pony?
Though I have never quoted Dr. King (again, that supposed
Skype transcript was a fake and being an agnostic it would be very strange for
me to quote anything involving talk of a God) it was never my intent to offend
anyone with the comparisons I’ve made to the persecution couples like us face
and those in relationships that have been historically considered socially
unacceptable. I’m not going to apologize for making those comparisons though,
humans have always been prone to persecuting others who are different from them
in terms of romantic attraction and/or sexual preference. I just call ‘em like
I see ‘em.
Johnel:
You do not get to compare yourselves to people that have dealt with actual social persecution. You fuck a plush toy and live in your own fantasy world so fuck off back to it.
Takio:
15. So, I know that you share all of your meals with
Twilight. Can her vessel in this dimension actually process food? Or do you
‘feed’ it to her and then eat it yourself? Did you help her pick out a really
nice wedding dress? Will it be a traditional ceremony? Does Twilight have a
favorite deck dynamic or mana color for her magic deck(s)? Have you guys
thought about kids at all?
Johnel: Good
question. Well the first one. Don't care for Magic really.
Takio: Warning!This is about to get REALLY weird! Well....
more weird.
Wow! Lots of questions! All questions will be handled in the
order they are received lol
Eating and drinking
is kind of a strange matter, given that it’s not a physically subtractive
process for Twi here on Earth. Meaning that when she takes a bite of something
I perceive her to be chewing and swallowing it, but the quantity of food that
is on the silverware remains the same physically speaking. It’s kind of like
having two layers of reality wrapped over each other.
Johnel: I'll admit to
doing a lot of weird crack fic level stuff when I make up implications for
hinting at off screen shenanigans for the joke of this blog but that has got to
be some of the dumbest multi-dimensional interaction theory I've ever heard
Takio: How is this different
from the tulpa dudes again?
There’s the subjective reality in which I am aware of my
partner doing all the things she does, and the other being the objective
reality where things like quantities of food being consumed remain static. It
all just comes down to perception, and given the nature of my partner there’s a
lot of things she does (everything from speech to eating) that I perceive while
others would never be aware of. Again, it’s like having two layers of reality
sandwiched together. There’s the subjective one that is unique to Twilight and
I, and the objective one that everyone else sees. And yeah, I do help her
finish the physical quantities of whatever food is left on the silverware after
she finishes eating her portion of it. Lol
Johnel:
Takio: Oh now I KNOW
he's bullshitting!No woman ANYWHERE
lets her man eat her food off her plate!
For the wedding dress we’re actually still shopping around
for a dress maker.
Takio: Introducing
David's Bridals new line of My Little Pony wedding gowns!
Johnel: Wait doesn’t
this break his own delusions character continuity?
Takio: What do ya
mean?
Johnel: Isn't one of
the characters a creative type. I mean like had an episode that was supposedly
the animators sneaking commentary on the crap they have to deal with from the
higher ups or something. Like I said I'm not really into the show.
Takio: No no, that
was Rarity. Twilight is the intellectual.
Johnel: Well yeah but
he said in his own explanation that she can go back and forth at will so why
isn't the marshmallow looking one doing it if they are such close friends?
Takio: On my
god!You're right!Oh dear, if poor Rarity found out Twilight
didn't want her to make her wedding dress...
How could you,
Twilight?!HOW COULD YOU?!
We’ve haven’t made any final decisions yet, but we’ve got
some ideas in mind. Our wedding will be a traditional ceremony for the most
part, with the one exception being that I’ll be carrying Twi down isle rather
than having her walk by my side.
Johnel: By whose
standards is it traditional? Also what about her dad walking her down the aisle?
She has a dad right? I mean he isn't sir not appearing in this show or dead
right?
Takio: Yes, Twilight
has a father.I think his name is
Nightlight...
For the Magic : The Gathering stuff, I’ll leave that to Twi…
Twilight : “There are lots of archetypes I enjoy playing in
Magic! My favorites in the Legacy format have been T.E.S. (that’s 5 color Storm
combo) and Dredge, but most of our friends play Commander so Jin and I have had
to come up with some new decks for me to play in that format. I’ve played with
several different generals but my favorite has been Sharuum the Hegemon. I
think artifacts are really neat and my favorite color combination in Magic is
Esper (White/Blue/Black) so you can see why I like Sharuum! Combo is by far the
fastest and most efficient strategy to win with in any eternal format so
Sharuum is very practical in that regard as well. Unfortunately our friends are
not big fans of Sharuum so I have been trying other generals recently. They liked
Azami, Lady of Scrolls even less than Sharuum, but they have been more
accepting of Teysa, Orzhov Scion so that’s what I’ve been playing most of the
time lately. Playing in Legacy format tournaments is one thing, but I’ve
learned you have to be a little more considerate when playing with your friends
so you don’t end up hurting their feelings. Unfortunately the strategies I like
the most tend to hurt people’s feelings, but I do my best to avoid it when I
can. Friends are very important you know!”
Johnel: Ok so last
big thing that was in card games when I played them was Elemental Hero Neos, so
do you know what any of that meant?
Takio:
Johnel: Yeah fuck it
if anyone can describe that and tell us if it means anything leave it in the
comments let's move on.
Regarding children, we have talked about it and think that
even if it wasn’t for the genetic incompatibilities preventing us from having
kids together now just isn’t the right time in either of our lives to be having
children.
Takio: ... He... he
talked to his stuffed animal.... about having children... Okay, I don't care if
he acknowledged the fact that she's a stuffed animal or a pony or in two
dimensions at once, the fact that at one point in his relationship he talked about
CHILDREN AS A POSSIBILITY tells me we need to fear for the future
Johnel: Calm down the
state would in no way let him raise a child. It will all be ok.
Takio: But the plush
industry might.*shudder*
Johnel: Oh you mean
like this!
Takio:
Twilight still has enough learning she wants to do about
Earth culture and history to last half a lifetime, and I’m going to be in
school for at least the next 4 years. Maybe some day long in the future when
we’ve both completed most of the learning we want to do and our lives have
settled down we’ll revisit the issue, but until then we’re both far too busy
with our own separate interests and enjoying our life together to think about
having kids. And even if we did decide we’d like to have kids (or foals if you
rather) together at some point there’s still that inherent genetic
incompatibility problem. But who knows, maybe Twi could find some kind of Magic
workaround for that. If anypony could it’s her.
Takio: Actually, this
relieves me a bit.
Johnel: So this is it
the final question he answered are you ready newbie?
Takio: Okay, final
question!Wait, didn't he have like 35
questions on here?How can 16 be the
last?
Johnel: Do you really
want more?
Takio: Never mind.Final Question!
16. Do you and Twilight ever argue?
I can’t say we ever have, in all the time we’ve been
together I don’t recall us ever having a real argument. We don’t always agree
on everything, but I think the worst conflicts we’ve ever had were trying to
decide what to have for dinner or what to watch on Netflix. And those debates
have never devolved into an “argument” level conflict. lol
Johnel:
Takio: No. They don’t
fight.Of course they don't.Because SHE'S NOT REAL!
Johnel: Well that
was.... disappointing. So Takio do you feel confident in working for our
organization/ a fake premise to the blog and by the way we should get to
getting you an account thing.
Takio: Do I have to
watch more pony toys getting violated?
Johnel: If you find
fanfiction like that and want to riff it yourself then yes. Still it is at your
discretion.
Takio: Ehh... let me
get some coffee....
Johnel: Well ok. Been
too long since I've got to do this. Push the button Mister!