Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Quest for Proper Spelling Part 4: Our Pants aren't Dead

Johnel: Welcome back to this special hell about the Holey Grail I'm your host and with me as always is my co host Ienzo!

Ienzo: Why the fuck am I back here!?

Johnel: Clones. Besides your other option was to preform Swim This Way.

Ienzo: But.. I... Just get it over with you idiot.

They followd the trail to a large cave in the cave was lots of spider webs.

Johenl: Could it be that the drak ones have corrupted Spiderman!!!

Ienzo: I hate you.

Harry was scare but Aurthr said "Do not be scared it is only web" and slash them with exalibur so they all fell down. They walked into the cave and then they saw some spider cocoons with gandalf, sam, frodo, aragorn and the rest inside. "Help"

Johnel:*As Frodo* I've lost my punctuation!

cried frodo and so they cut down the coocoos and set them free. "What happened" said Aurthr "it was spiders they trapped us in the web" "Did you kill them"

Ienzo: They... you... web..... how.............*Smacks Johnel wiht Lexicon*......... Yes they did kill them. They valiantly slayed the arachnids in a battle that would make the poets weep and cause young maidens to become pregnant at the sight and then decided to trap themselves in this cave FOR FUCKING SHITS AND GIGGLES! DOESN'T THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU!?

Johnel: Note to self get Ienzo some appoitments with Chambers... also start wearing a helmet during these things.

"No they are still there" and then the heard a loud hiss.

Johnel: I'm betting snakes what about you?

Ienzo: The fuse on a bomb so they'll all die horrible deaths.

Suddenly two monster spider came down from cealing it was Shelob and Aragog!


 They were working for dark ones.


Dark ones you say? What a twist not only do our heros have to confront the horrible evil of the drak ones but now a second group rises from the shadows to...
Ienzo: *Lexicon smash* Shut up they get the joke you annoying smear on my existance.

 Many baby spiders came also. "Attack" cried aragog and then the baby spiders attacked. Arthr stabed some with excalibur and harry did a flipondo spel and knock some down a big hole. Hagrid stomped some and fluffy eat them and the lord of the rings people also stab some baby spiders.

Johnel: Got to love how it is just the Lord of the Rings people. So unloved are the Fellowship.

 Indian jones kill some with his wip. Then when they had won Agargog and shelobb attacked and also the terror spiner spider from zuludrak in world of Wacraft.

Ienzo: That explains far too much about this writer than I'd ever wish to know.

merry and pipen got caught and eaten but everyone else fort the spiders and then they died. "I am sorry mery and pipin" said gandalf "but now we must defeat the dark ones" and so they all started to go toward the dark one lair to make the ultimate wepon to destroy it.

Johnel: Fantastic ending. "Well I'm sorry you are being eaten alive by spiders but fuck you both we've got better shit to do!"

Ienzo: Yes you can tell the author is playing favorites. Okay that is another chapter of this trash done am I allowed to go back to my research.

Johnel: Yeah this is only going to be a once and awhile bite sized type of thing. What are you doing now anyways?

Ienzo: Weaponizing the concept of cute. If my calculations are correct, which of course they are, I can create a super weapon no darkness could withstand!

Johenl: Your just creating some genetically engineered franken pet to get laid aren't you?

Ienzo: *Delivers boot to the head* Shut up you undergrad piece of slime. *Warps out*

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