Johnel: Well well author if we are referencing old movies I think I can do you one better.
Zexion groaned and doubled over, holding his aching tummy. "Ugh...Lexaeus! This baby is killing me!" he whined, bending over the kitchen table to ease the pain-- which didn't really help. Cloud came in holding a tray with assorted medications. His hand had been bandaged for a few weeks now, the wounds still seeming, even after all this time, fresh. He glare at Zexion, slamming down the tray.
Johnel:*As Cloud*Here is your absolutely poison free pain medication.
Lexaeus followed in after him, watching as he angrily throw the tray on the table, "Hey Cloud...what happened to your hand?" he asked.
Cloud and Zexion both looked up, then at each other. They glared at each other momentarily before Cloud regarded Lexaeus.
"A wild bitch bit me," he said.
Johnel: Unfortunately for Cloud he was out of potions and had to walk all the way back the to Pokemon Center.
"Cloud, please, we're in the Twenty-first century. Dog," Lexaeus said.
Johnel: Lexaeus you feeling okay?
Cloud turned and rolled his eyes, he looked down at Zexion and glared.
Zexion straightened up, "You probably deserved it," he said, closing his eyes. "Getting bitten, I mean."
Cloud closed his eyes and leaned against the table. "Deserved it?" he asked. "The stupid bitch should have learned it's place and not defied me. I kept demanding it followed my orders; I thought it was well trained. I was obviously wrong," he said, sticking his nose in the air like a snob.
Johnel: Don’t think I’ve ever heard snob used to describe Cloud before.
"Maybe you should have payed attention to when the dog was getting ANGRY with you!" Zexion said, trying not to raise his voice.
"Maybe it shouldn't have stepped out of line and defied me in the first place," Cloud glared, leaning over the table.
Johnel: You know they are doing a good job at keeping this all metaphorical.
"Maybe you shouldn't have raped me!" Zexion yelled.
Johnel: Well at least until Zexion decides to go and spoil the allegory.
Everyone froze in place. Lexaeus rose an eyebrow; he was definitely the most confused, no competition. Zexion stared at Cloud then Lexaeus then Cloud then Lexaeus again. Lexaeus blinked still, trying to fit the pieces together. (Don't hurt yourself Lex)
Johnel: He is a man of science and how dare you insult his intelligence.
Have at thee!
"...I always sensed some hostility between you two, but Zexion...don't take it that far," Lexaeus said.
Johnel: Yes that is how you should react to a rape accusation by not even caring at all.
Zexion groaned and doubled over as another sharp pain shot through his widening tummy. "Ugh! Just get my some damn medicine!" he growled, reaching for the bottles. He picked one up and examined it, "Only take one every six hours..." he sighed and shrugged pouring the contents into his hand.
Johnel: Might as well kill the hell spawn with drugs.
"Well, time for you to get ready for our big day!" Lexaeus grinned, kissing Zexion's nose. He grabbed Cloud and they left the kitchen. "Namine's in your room, ready to help you into you wedding gear!" Lexaeus called back to him.
"See ya!" Zexion called back, taking the pills in his hand and a glass of water upstairs. He sighed and stopped to look in the mirror in the hallway. He put a hand on his reflection, "Sorry what I said to you before..." he apologized. "I know you're not a whore. You are capable of loving...and I really don't hate you...truce?" He paused, almost as if he was waiting for his reflection to reply, "Good to see we're friends again," he smiled softly.
Johnel: You know I’m starting to think this is all a case of someone making Zexion’s illusion powers work against him.
He stood there and blinked, "I'm going fucking insane..." He sighed and shook his head, walking to his room. He looked down into his palm, staring at the four pills. "It said only take one..." he muttered. "Oh well." He gave a light shrug and smiled lightly, getting a glass of water from his night stand. He popped the pills into his mouth and drank them down, wiping his mouth. "Ahhh," he said.
Johnel: You know I should rant but I’m saving my rants on pregnancy and babies for the next fic I’m doing.
"Zexy!" Namine cheered. "I am sooo happy for you! It's your big day, finally!" she giggled.
Johnel: Damn you Namine don’t you care for the baby seals!?
Zexion shrugged lightly, "Just help me into my outfit please...I have a headache as it is." He got out his red dress and examined it. "It's so beautiful..."
Johnel: It is so beautiful there is only one image I can use to convey that.
Namine nodded and helped him into it, "We should put some pretty flower decorations in your hair, you know like you wore the night of the dinner party. I was thinking that tan would probably match really well," she said, making a picture frame with her fingers. She squinted and nodded, "Perfect!"
Zexion sighed, clipping the flowers into his hair. He was feeling a bit dizzy suddenly and his mind was a giant blob of nothing. "Namine...I'm so pretty," he cooed to his reflection. He stumbled to the mirror and looked at himself, "God, you're so beautiful," he told his reflection.
Johnel: I don’t think the drugs should being taking that quick of an effect.
Namine blinked and watched him, "Good god! You've gone loopy," she gasped. "Lex...Lexaeus!" she yelled.
Johnel:*As Namine* Your bride is breaking the laws of science again!
Zexion stumbled around before falling half-assedly onto his bed, closing his eyes.
Lexaeus walked into the room, "What Namine?" he asked, not turning towards her.
"It's Zexion he--...why are you backwards?" she asked.
"It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!" Lexaeus explained. "What's wrong."
Johnel: Yeah unfortunately due to my overall dislike of the fic this joke lost any punch it might have had. Also I think it would be better as a visual gag anyways.
"I think Zexion took too much of his medicine," she nodded.
Lexaeus sighed, "Namine...bother me when it's something important!" he said. "There's still so much to do!" he fretted, running off.
Johnel: Seriously stop writing Lexaeus as having a chinchilla for a brain.
Namine looked to Zexion worriedly, "He'll be fine," she assured herself. "Just fine."
((Blah blah some time later))
Johnel: As you can see even now the author is wanting to get this over with.
Cloud was the one that would walk Zexion down the aisle, and he was on his way to pick the boy up. "Namine...get Zexion out here please!" Cloud yelled through the door.
Johnel: I know that Zexion has no visible parents but wouldn’t Lexaeus’ father work better?
"Eh..yeah!" the blonde called back. She looked at the dozing boy that was babbling about some nonsense. She picked him up and carried him to the door, "Here ya go!"
Cloud blinked as Zexion was suddenly shoved at him and the small blonde ran off, disappearing down the hall.
Johnel: She really wanted out of this fic.
Zexion gave a goofy laugh as he fell limp into Cloud's arms, "Oh right, someone's having a partyyy today!" he sang. "Parrttyyyyy, am I invited?" he cooed.
Johnel: No in fact *singing* Nobody loves you everyone hates you we’re all here without you having fun.
Cloud raised an eyebrow, "Man...I could so just throw you down and take you...damn Lexaeus..."
Johnel:*As Cloud* Not that it’s stopped me before but you know got to follow the plot.
he muttered. "Now come on." Cloud had to drag Zexion all the way to the church across the street from the mansion. When they got there the wedding was just about to begin, the music was already playing and Cloud was a bit unprepared.
He sighed and held Zexion up by the waist, "Come on you crazy son of a bitch..."
He began to drag Zexion down the aisle, looking around at all of the family members and friends of Lexaeus. Half way through Cloud and Zexion's travel down the aisle Zexion decided he was suddenly feeling tired. He swatted Cloud away and layed on the floor.
Johnel: Honestly she is making a bad impression with the in-laws.
"I am soooo tired," the mauve-haired boy whined. "Just gonna lay down awhile."
Johnel: Really? I thought it was bluenette.
Cloud blinked and picked him up, watching as everyone looked at them, flabbergasted.
((I've been denied all the best ultra sex! FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT! That song totally describes me in a nutshell. :3))
Johnel: Fuck you! Just fuck you author! Honestly I didn't even understand half of that but I feel offended.
Also The beginning of this chapter is just the part of last chapter with Cloud carrying a drugged up Zexion copy pasted so I’m cutting it.
"Come on Zexion, just a bit further," Cloud whispered to the boy.
Zexion pouted and stomped his feet, "No. I'm. Tired!" he yelled. "And these fucking clips are stabbing me in the head," he whined, grabbing his hair and pulling at the clips, only having them get tangled in his extensions. He whined more, "Not fair!" he cried.
Johnel: Suddenly Zexion is five.
Cloud got Zexion going again, having to use some force. Zexion stumbled along, shifting uncomfortably, whining and complaining still.
Finally they made it to the platform where Lexaeus, the bridesmaids and the best men were. Cloud shoved Zexion to Lexaeus and took his rightful place as /the/ best man. Lexaeus caught Zexion and held him up. He sighed in relief when the boy settled and nestled against his chest.
"Ahem!" the pastor said, clearing his throat. "We are gathered here to join, this man...and er...this man...in holy matrimony--"
Johnel: You mean man and women pastor the author just doesn’t want to admit it.
Lexaeus ignored the pastor and stared at his dozing beauty. He played with the ends of Zexion's hair and purred softly, it reverberated in his chest and made Zexion giggle. He smiled softly and watched the boy giggled shamelessly.
Everyone, all too drawn to the scene in front of them, hadn't noticed the redhead silently slip into the back. Even the guards at the door hadn't noticed him, they were too busy snickering and pointing at the bride.
Johnel: Why did you have guards Lexaeus? No seriously was he a mob boss and that was just forgotten or something why are there guards?
The pastor cleared his throat and everyone straightened up, "If there is anyone here who objects, speak now or forever hold you peace."
Everyone was smiling, no one was going to ruin this beautiful couple's marriage. Lexaeus smiled and looked down at Zexion whom was still confused as all Hell.
Johnel: They are all of course blind as bats.
"I object!" the redhead's voice yelled, echoing through the church. His green eyes were dull, almost a grey looking color and dark purple lines were under his eyes.
Johnel: You missed your line dumbass!
Zexion turned to the side, reality suddenly giving him a hard slap in the face. He seemed to react quickly smiling and standing up straight, the pill's affect on his body seeming to have left him alone completely.
Johnel: Yes Axel has magical sobering powers now.
"Zexion!" the redhead yelled, all the attention suddenly drawn to him. "I--"
He was quickly interrupted by a small boy in a blue tuxedo.
"Are you a pimp!?" Kadaj yelled. His brothers peeked their heads over their chairs so they could see the redheaded man.
"He's totally a pimp!" Loz yelled.
"Take that whore of yours and leave!" Kadaj said, giving a half-wave in Zexion's direction .
"Yeah, that whore!" Yazoo yelled, gesturing to Zexion.
Johnel: Could someone be responsible and hit those kids please?
"Okayyy...uhm...where was I..." Axel stopped and thought. "Oh...Zexion! I don't care if you don't love me anymore, I still love you! I can't eat...or...or sleep. All I can think about is you! I...I love you so much!" he yelled. "Please...whatever I did wrong...please forgive me and give me another chance!"
Johnel: So that’s the end of the chapter. Will Zexion marry Lexaeus? Will Axel be rejected? Will I give single fuck? Find out next time in the final part of Don’t Hold Me Closer Cloaked Dancer.