((Sixteen candles!))
Johnel: Well well
author if we are referencing old movies I think I can do you one better.
Zexion groaned and doubled over, holding his aching tummy.
"Ugh...Lexaeus! This baby is killing me!" he whined, bending over the
kitchen table to ease the pain-- which didn't really help. Cloud came in
holding a tray with assorted medications. His hand had been bandaged for a few
weeks now, the wounds still seeming, even after all this time, fresh. He glare
at Zexion, slamming down the tray.
Johnel:*As Cloud*Here
is your absolutely poison free pain medication.
Lexaeus followed in after him, watching as he angrily throw
the tray on the table, "Hey Cloud...what happened to your hand?" he
asked.
Cloud and Zexion both looked up, then at each other. They
glared at each other momentarily before Cloud regarded Lexaeus.
"A wild bitch bit me," he said.
Johnel: Unfortunately
for Cloud he was out of potions and had to walk all the way back the to Pokemon
Center.
"Cloud, please, we're in the Twenty-first century.
Dog," Lexaeus said.
Johnel: Lexaeus you
feeling okay?
Cloud turned and rolled his eyes, he looked down at Zexion
and glared.
Zexion straightened up, "You probably deserved
it," he said, closing his eyes. "Getting bitten, I mean."
Cloud closed his eyes and leaned against the table.
"Deserved it?" he asked. "The stupid bitch should have learned
it's place and not defied me. I kept demanding it followed my orders; I thought
it was well trained. I was obviously wrong," he said, sticking his nose in
the air like a snob.
Johnel: Don’t think I’ve
ever heard snob used to describe Cloud before.
"Maybe you should have payed attention to when the dog
was getting ANGRY with you!" Zexion said, trying not to raise his voice.
"Maybe it shouldn't have stepped out of line and defied
me in the first place," Cloud glared, leaning over the table.
Johnel: You know they
are doing a good job at keeping this all metaphorical.
"Maybe you shouldn't have raped me!" Zexion
yelled.
Johnel: Well at least
until Zexion decides to go and spoil the allegory.
Everyone froze in place. Lexaeus rose an eyebrow; he was
definitely the most confused, no competition. Zexion stared at Cloud then
Lexaeus then Cloud then Lexaeus again. Lexaeus blinked still, trying to fit the
pieces together. (Don't hurt yourself Lex)
Johnel: He is a man
of science and how dare you insult his intelligence.
Have at thee!
"...I always sensed some hostility between you two, but
Zexion...don't take it that far," Lexaeus said.
Johnel: Yes that is
how you should react to a rape accusation by not even caring at all.
Zexion groaned and doubled over as another sharp pain shot
through his widening tummy. "Ugh! Just get my some damn medicine!" he
growled, reaching for the bottles. He picked one up and examined it, "Only
take one every six hours..." he sighed and shrugged pouring the contents
into his hand.
Johnel: Might as well
kill the hell spawn with drugs.
"Well, time for you to get ready for our big day!"
Lexaeus grinned, kissing Zexion's nose. He grabbed Cloud and they left the
kitchen. "Namine's in your room, ready to help you into you wedding
gear!" Lexaeus called back to him.
"See ya!" Zexion called back, taking the pills in
his hand and a glass of water upstairs. He sighed and stopped to look in the
mirror in the hallway. He put a hand on his reflection, "Sorry what I said
to you before..." he apologized. "I know you're not a whore. You are
capable of loving...and I really don't hate you...truce?" He paused,
almost as if he was waiting for his reflection to reply, "Good to see
we're friends again," he smiled softly.
Johnel: You know I’m
starting to think this is all a case of someone making Zexion’s illusion powers
work against him.
He stood there and blinked, "I'm going fucking
insane..." He sighed and shook his head, walking to his room. He looked
down into his palm, staring at the four pills. "It said only take
one..." he muttered. "Oh well." He gave a light shrug and smiled
lightly, getting a glass of water from his night stand. He popped the pills
into his mouth and drank them down, wiping his mouth. "Ahhh," he
said.
Johnel: You know I
should rant but I’m saving my rants on pregnancy and babies for the next fic I’m
doing.
"Zexy!" Namine cheered. "I am sooo happy for
you! It's your big day, finally!" she giggled.
Johnel: Damn you
Namine don’t you care for the baby
seals!?
Zexion shrugged lightly, "Just help me into my outfit
please...I have a headache as it is." He got out his red dress and
examined it. "It's so beautiful..."
Johnel: It is so beautiful there is
only one image I can use to convey that.
Namine nodded and helped him into it, "We should put
some pretty flower decorations in your hair, you know like you wore the night
of the dinner party. I was thinking that tan would probably match really well,"
she said, making a picture frame with her fingers. She squinted and nodded,
"Perfect!"
Zexion sighed, clipping the flowers into his hair. He was
feeling a bit dizzy suddenly and his mind was a giant blob of nothing.
"Namine...I'm so pretty," he cooed to his reflection. He stumbled to
the mirror and looked at himself, "God, you're so beautiful," he told
his reflection.
Johnel: I don’t think
the drugs should being taking that quick of an effect.
Namine blinked and watched him, "Good god! You've gone
loopy," she gasped. "Lex...Lexaeus!" she yelled.
Johnel:*As Namine*
Your bride is breaking the laws of science again!
Zexion stumbled around before falling half-assedly onto his
bed, closing his eyes.
Lexaeus walked into the room, "What Namine?" he
asked, not turning towards her.
"It's Zexion he--...why are you backwards?" she
asked.
"It's bad luck to see the bride before the
wedding!" Lexaeus explained. "What's wrong."
Johnel: Yeah
unfortunately due to my overall dislike of the fic this joke lost any punch it might
have had. Also I think it would be better as a visual gag anyways.
"I think Zexion took too much of his medicine,"
she nodded.
Lexaeus sighed, "Namine...bother me when it's something
important!" he said. "There's still so much to do!" he fretted,
running off.
Johnel: Seriously
stop writing Lexaeus as having a chinchilla for a brain.
Namine looked to Zexion worriedly, "He'll be
fine," she assured herself. "Just fine."
((Blah blah some time later))
Johnel: As you can
see even now the author is wanting to get this over with.
Cloud was the one that would walk Zexion down the aisle, and
he was on his way to pick the boy up. "Namine...get Zexion out here
please!" Cloud yelled through the door.
Johnel: I know that
Zexion has no visible parents but wouldn’t Lexaeus’ father work better?
"Eh..yeah!" the blonde called back. She looked at
the dozing boy that was babbling about some nonsense. She picked him up and
carried him to the door, "Here ya go!"
Cloud blinked as Zexion was suddenly shoved at him and the
small blonde ran off, disappearing down the hall.
Johnel: She really
wanted out of this fic.
"Zexion...?"
Zexion gave a goofy laugh as he fell limp into Cloud's arms,
"Oh right, someone's having a partyyy today!" he sang.
"Parrttyyyyy, am I invited?" he cooed.
Johnel: No in fact
*singing* Nobody loves you everyone hates you we’re all here without you having
fun.
Cloud raised an eyebrow, "Man...I could so just throw
you down and take you...damn Lexaeus..."
Johnel:*As Cloud* Not
that it’s stopped me before but you know got to follow the plot.
he muttered. "Now come on." Cloud had to drag
Zexion all the way to the church across the street from the mansion. When they
got there the wedding was just about to begin, the music was already playing
and Cloud was a bit unprepared.
He sighed and held Zexion up by the waist, "Come on you
crazy son of a bitch..."
He began to drag Zexion down the aisle, looking around at
all of the family members and friends of Lexaeus. Half way through Cloud and
Zexion's travel down the aisle Zexion decided he was suddenly feeling tired. He
swatted Cloud away and layed on the floor.
Johnel: Honestly she
is making a bad impression with the in-laws.
"I am soooo tired," the mauve-haired boy whined.
"Just gonna lay down awhile."
Johnel: Really? I
thought it was bluenette.
Cloud blinked and picked him up, watching as everyone looked
at them, flabbergasted.
((I've been denied all the best ultra sex! FAGGOT FAGGOT
FAGGOT! That song totally describes me in a nutshell. :3))
Johnel: Fuck you!
Just fuck you author! Honestly I didn't even understand half of that but I feel offended.
Also The beginning of
this chapter is just the part of last chapter with Cloud carrying a drugged up
Zexion copy pasted so I’m cutting it.
"Come on Zexion, just a bit further," Cloud
whispered to the boy.
Zexion pouted and stomped his feet, "No. I'm.
Tired!" he yelled. "And these fucking clips are stabbing me in the
head," he whined, grabbing his hair and pulling at the clips, only having
them get tangled in his extensions. He whined more, "Not fair!" he
cried.
Johnel: Suddenly
Zexion is five.
Cloud got Zexion going again, having to use some force.
Zexion stumbled along, shifting uncomfortably, whining and complaining still.
Finally they made it to the platform where Lexaeus, the
bridesmaids and the best men were. Cloud shoved Zexion to Lexaeus and took his
rightful place as /the/ best man. Lexaeus caught Zexion and held him up. He
sighed in relief when the boy settled and nestled against his chest.
"Ahem!" the pastor said, clearing his throat.
"We are gathered here to join, this man...and er...this man...in holy
matrimony--"
Johnel: You mean man
and women pastor the author just doesn’t want to admit it.
Lexaeus ignored the pastor and stared at his dozing beauty.
He played with the ends of Zexion's hair and purred softly, it reverberated in
his chest and made Zexion giggle. He smiled softly and watched the boy giggled
shamelessly.
Everyone, all too drawn to the scene in front of them,
hadn't noticed the redhead silently slip into the back. Even the guards at the
door hadn't noticed him, they were too busy snickering and pointing at the
bride.
Johnel: Why did you
have guards Lexaeus? No seriously was he a mob boss and that was just forgotten
or something why are there guards?
The pastor cleared his throat and everyone straightened up,
"If there is anyone here who objects, speak now or forever hold you
peace."
Everyone was smiling, no one was going to ruin this
beautiful couple's marriage. Lexaeus smiled and looked down at Zexion whom was
still confused as all Hell.
Johnel: They are all
of course blind as bats.
"Do you--"
"I object!" the redhead's voice yelled, echoing
through the church. His green eyes were dull, almost a grey looking color and
dark purple lines were under his eyes.
Johnel: You missed
your line dumbass!
Zexion turned to the side, reality suddenly giving him a
hard slap in the face. He seemed to react quickly smiling and standing up
straight, the pill's affect on his body seeming to have left him alone
completely.
Johnel: Yes Axel has
magical sobering powers now.
"Zexion!" the redhead yelled, all the attention
suddenly drawn to him. "I--"
He was quickly interrupted by a small boy in a blue tuxedo.
"Are you a pimp!?" Kadaj yelled. His brothers
peeked their heads over their chairs so they could see the redheaded man.
"He's totally a pimp!" Loz yelled.
"Take that whore of yours and leave!" Kadaj said,
giving a half-wave in Zexion's direction .
"Yeah, that whore!" Yazoo yelled, gesturing to
Zexion.
Johnel: Could someone
be responsible and hit those kids please?
"Okayyy...uhm...where was I..." Axel stopped and
thought. "Oh...Zexion! I don't care if you don't love me anymore, I still
love you! I can't eat...or...or sleep. All I can think about is you! I...I love
you so much!" he yelled. "Please...whatever I did wrong...please
forgive me and give me another chance!"
Johnel: So that’s the
end of the chapter. Will Zexion marry Lexaeus? Will Axel be rejected? Will I
give single fuck? Find out next time in the final part of Don’t Hold Me Closer
Cloaked Dancer.
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