Johnel: Okay Mister is distracted with sweats, I lived to see fantasia in a Kingdom Hearts game, and viewership is up let’s do this.
((Haha, I type too fast. I was reading over the last chapter and I noticed I put 'school' instead of 'squeal'. xD Silly me!))
Johnel: Okay no. Typing to fast leads you to writing “teh” instead of “the” because you hit the keys at about the same time. In no way would speed typing lead you to type school instead of squeal that is four wrong letters at completely different sections of the keyboard. Also fanfiction.net lets you edit your stories you stupid stupid author.
After several hours of complying to Cloud's every whim Zexion limped out of his room, putting his brave face on. He tried not to limp, but it was a bit hard to hide.
Johnel: Wait how the hell would it be Cloud to cause the limp? You know what I’m not even going to question it anymore.
As he turned a corner he saw Lexaeus. He sniffed and fell into hte older man's arms, closing his eyes and finding solace in the other's large body.
Lexaeus smiled, picking Zexion up. He held the boy and nuzzled him, not really finding anything wrong with him. "Tonight my parents are coming over for dinner, they wanted to meet you," he smiled. "And my dad is paying for the entire wedding! That means we can get whatever we want," he laughed. "By the bye, what do you want specifically for the wedding?" he asked.
Johnel: Does this Bizzaro Zexion have parents? I mean the cannon actually male one was an orphan last I checked but this one having parents has never been brought up.
Zexion shrugged and nuzzled his chest, "Anything...is fine..."
Lexaeus smiled, "You're going to be a great wife, we can live here forever!" he nodded.
Johnel: See even the characters don’t believe that this Zexion is a women.
"Can we fire Cloud?" Zexion smirked, his face still hidden in Lexaeus' chest.
Lexaeus let out a small laugh, "Of course not! He's my favorite cousin and I love having him at the house, plus you two seem to get along well! That was a good joke though." Zexion winced at the word 'joke'. It was anything but a joke. Cloud was a perverted rapist.
Johnel: Rapist I won’t argue but what does one have to do to count as perverted to the person that dresses like a maid all the time and you know worked at a whore house.
Lexaeus carried Zexion around, holding him tightly, though not tight enough to where he'd be squeezing Zexion's stomach, which was visibly getting a little larger. "Okay, go get ready." Lexaeus finally put Zexion down. They were back in front of the boy's room and Zexion was a little reluctant with going back inside.
He shook his head softly and entered anyway, looking around carefully. He sighed in relief when there was no sign of anyone else and he slowly undressed himself, getting into his bathtub to get the sickening dirty feeling off of himself. He turned the warm water on and sank into it, sighing softly. "Mmm, so nice," he whispered, closing his eyes.
Johnel: That reminds me to take a long shower to make myself clean of this later.
"Hey, do you mind if I join you?"
Johnel: Well someone has been taking ninja lessons from Saix.
Zexion smiled and made another 'mm' sound, lost in the comforting sensation of the warm water. He focused as the voice asked the same question. His eyes widened when he realized it was none other than Axel's voice. "Axel!" he squealed looking to the side where the voice had come from.
Johnel: Bizzaro Axel isn’t one for self-preservation I see.
He frowned when he saw there was no one there.
Johnel: Ninja vansish.
It was just his imagination. He sat up and rested his arms on the edge of the porcelain tub, his head resting on his pale arms. He started letting out soft sobs. He wanted Axel so badly. He wanted Axel to hold him again, to kiss him tenderly like he had done before. He wanted the man back in his life. This wish was too complicated to be granted though, and miracles didn't exist. Zexion frowned and sank back into the tub, letting himself cry.
Johnel: Really you could probably just go back to the whore house and ask someone there if they’ve seen him and get an address.
Lexaeus examined Zexion as he slowly walked down the stairs, guided by Cloud. He looked sad, but no one really payed any mind to that.
Johnel: For you know they are assholes.
Zexion's gaze was down at his feet. He was wearing his hair up in a ponytail, decorated with small flower decor. He was wearing a short whit dress that looked like over the top extravagance. the bottom was ruffled and it looked like it was barely long enough to cover his lower regions. His legs were embraced by white tights and he had on shiny black dress shoes. Around his neck was a white ribbon. On the ribbon was a shiny golden bell that rang quietly with every step Zexion took.
Johnel: Okay just hold it in you can…..
What is she trying out for a Tokyo Mew Mew sequel?
Zexion was almost afraid to look up, he didn't know who Lexaeus' parents were. He wondered what they were like, if they were nice or just grouchy old rich stiffs. He frowned and softly exhaled through his nose, still not chancing a glance to them.
Johnel: While they were wondering where their sons fiancé was and why their nephew was bringing a stripper down stairs.
He only dared to look when they reached the bottom of the stairs where Lexaeus and his parents were. Zexion hadn't noticed, maybe because it was so quiet, but it was more than just Lexaeus and his parents. There were at the very least thirteen people.
Johnel: Unfortunately that number falls flat because of the obvious attempt at reference.
This made Zexion more uneasy and he got butterflies in his stomach. If it had been just Lexaeus' parents then it would have been easier, but now they were talking about the entire family. What if he couldn't please them? Then what would happen?
Johnel: Well you already pleased two of them so that is only twelve to go.
Lexaeus took Zexion from Cloud and put an arm around him, "Zexion these are my parents," he said, pointing to a male and female. "My mom, Aeris-"
Johnel: No in fact I will show you a quick reason why this doesn’t work.
This is Aeris, Aerith, or whatever the proper spelling is in Kingdom Hearts 2.
Now this is Lexaeus, Okay technically it is his human form of Aeleus but same difference, back in Birth By Sleep which takes place eleven years before hand. Do you see how this doesn’t work?
She smiled softly and hugged Zexion.
"And my dad, Vincent.
Johnel: Vincent is old enough but they really don’t look alike.
My grandma and grandpa, Yuffie and Cid.
Johnel: The fuck!? She is what seventeen in Kingdom Hearts 2.
My auntie Olette, her husband Hayner
Johnel: The double fuck! They're both fifteen in Kingdom Hearts 2!
and my cousins. The triplets Loz, Kadaj, and Yazoo," Lexaeus smiled.
Johnel: Okay seriously was the author high when making up this family tree? Seriously the only people here that might be older than Lexaeus are Vincent and Cid so why does this author seem to think teenage characters are middle aged and elderly?
Zexion smiled at them, then looked down at the triplets who could probably be about six or seven. "Hi," he said softly to them. Kadaj smirked and pulled out a small plastic gun. He pulled the trigger and a suction cup dart hit Zexion right in the forehead. He blinked and stood up, pulling the dart off.
Johnel: Well they are villains so why not start early.
"Kadaj, bad boy!" Olette scolded. "I'm so sorry, he's been misbehaving so much lately," she apologized.
Zexion shook his head and gave a pathetic laugh, "It's fine," he said softly, blushing slightly.
"I don't like you!" Yazoo yelled, kicking Zexion in the shin.
Johnel: Now that is a bit dickish.
"Stay away from our cousin!" Loz agreed, pouting and crossing his arms.
Zexion doubled over and held his leg, cringing. "No...no, it's fine," he said, giving a weak smile.
Johnel: Okay then Zexion doesn’t even have the nerve to fend off first graders.
The family gave small chuckles, "What adorable boys," they said,
Johnel: No you are all just horrible parents.
referring to the little devils that had just taken a liking to harassing Zexion. Zexion exhaled and breathed deeply, regaining his composure. "It's alright, Zexion," he said under his breath. "It's just one night."
Johnel: Don’t worry it is going to get worse next chapter.