Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A Nightmare on Hyrule Field Part 7: All By Myself

A new life

Johnel: Yeah the others are handling the Bonding with me next time so it is a solo riff today.

         A few months later I was coming home from the castle after watching Link all day in the Practice Yards with his legion.

Johnel: Wait what legion? You just pulled that out of the ass.

He had spent the day teaching sword techniques to the people in his legion. I spent most of the day watching him until I starting feeling a little sick. I had moved into the garden to sit down and rest when Zelda came to see me. "You do not look well my friend, are you ok?" Zelda said looking worried. "I feel a little sick in the stomach, and I feel real tired."

Johnel: Well apparently your husband turns into a bear during the act so no wonder you’re tired.

 I said as I held my stomach and tried to get up. "Come my friend, I will take you to the healer." Zelda took my hand and led me towards the healer's chambers.

   When we got there the healer had me lie on a table while she looked me over. After some time she found out why I was not well.

Johnel: Ruto had put arsenic in the food Jenna ate during the honeymoon.

She told me I was pregnant.

Johnel: Actually I’m somehow feeling more okay with the Zexion pregnancy in the last fic over this and that worries me.

 Zelda looked at me with shock as I was hit with joy. A rush of happiness ran through me.

Johnel: That was actually her being run through with a chainsword though.

I looked at Zelda and then I hugged her. "Oh Goddesses...congratulations." "Oh... Link will be soo happy." Zelda smiled at me as we hugged and I felt warm inside. "I must go and tell father." Then Zelda took off to fetch the King. I turned my attention back to the healer. "How far along am I?" I asked. "About two months."

Johnel: Okay if my culture didn’t create I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant I’d doubt that 100%.

The healer responded. Then she handed me a small bag with herbs in it. "Here are some herbs to counter the morning sickness and dizziness."

Johnel: For you know the Sue shouldn’t deal with any of the complications real people have to go through.

"Make sure you take it easy." "No real heavy activities." "Eat and drink a lot and make sure you get enough sleep." "And one piece of advice on a personal note, if you and your husband make love a lot while your pregnant, you'll help make the baby stronger."

Johnel: Look I’ve pointed out before that sex during pregnancy doesn’t cause damage to the child but this is Bullshit! In fact that was so stupid I’m going to hit you with some science whether you like it or not. You see while penetrative sex isn’t dangerous to the fetus when further along in a pregnancy it is a good idea to avoid oral sex. You see a there is a protein in semen called prostaglandins and this protein can induce labor if swallowed in other words…

Let that roll around in your head for awhile.

 "Just no real heavy lovemaking." "Keep it gentle." "And come back to see me in two weeks." "You may now leave." 

Johnel: I will also point out that it is true that some doctors will suggest sex as a way to induce labor but I doubt the author knew that or would get it right.

She gestured for me to get up and I nodded at the healer as I got off the table and headed back to the palace garden.

  As I waited for Princess Zelda and her father, I put my hand on my belly and begun to think to myself. "Oh my Goddesses....I'm going to be mother." "My first born." "Link's child." A tear started to run down my cheek. "He gave me this miracle, blessed us with a baby."

Johnel: Oh shut up you just didn’t use protection. Seriously making a baby is easy it is raising the kid so it makes something of itself that is the miracle. Also from how you act I have a feeling you are going to fuck this kid up royal.

 "I love him soo much." Then tears of happiness started to stream down my face. I had a miracle growing inside me. Link and I made this new life together. We were truly blessed.

Then I heard Lilly calling to me. "Jenna, I just heard the news." "Congratulations, I'm soo happy for you." "Link will be soo happy when you tell him." "How are you going tell him?" Lilly's grin nearly split her face.

Johnel: She has a face?

 I looked at Lilly and her pink aura seemed to glow brighter. "I thought of lighting some candles, cooking a meal to create a romantic setting, and telling him over dinner." Lilly flew in a circle. "That is a great idea." I cannot wait to see the look on his face." Lilly said as she chuckled at the thought of Link's expression after he was told.


         I sat and wondered how Link would take it. But I knew that he always wanted a child. And I hoped the baby would be a boy. Since that is what Link always wanted.

Johnel: Notice how it is always what “he” wanted and never a what “I” want in that little chunk.

         "Jenna my dear daughter, I heard about thy pregnancy." Just then the King walked into the Palace Garden with Princess Zelda right behind him. "The Princess has just told me about thy new miracle." I ran over to him and gave the King a hug. The king looked into my eyes, his eyes were as gentle as ever. "Congratulations my daughter, have thou told Link yet?" I nodded no but that I was going to tell him tonight over dinner.

Johnel: Okay how did you tell him all that with nodding?

 "When you and Link have thy first born, I will have everyone in Hyrule attend to celebrate thy new life."

Johnel: Not like they have shit to do or anything.

"A naming ceremony will also be held." "It will be a blessed event." Then the king's smile seemed to glow. "I'm going to be a grandfather."

Johnel: No you’re not. In fact at this rate your constant neglect of your actually daughter might drive her insane. Hell I’ve seen what neglectful parenting does, it turns people into Tang so you might want to stop this course of action unless you want Hyrule tasting like a beverage.

The King said as smiled at me, his smile always warmed my soul. I was glad he was like a father to me. Always gentle and caring. Now that I was to have a baby, it brought us even closer. We chitchatted a little longer until the dizziness started to take hold. Then the King saw me to the gate and I headed for home.

     When I reached home I went straight to bathe. After I undressed I looked down at my bare stomach. I put my hand gently on my belly and rubbed up and down. There was a life growing inside of me. A miracle that Link gave me. The baby was going to be beautiful.

Johnel: You know if this kid comes out looking average, not ugly just normal mind you, I have a feeling they’re just going to throw it off a cliff or something.

Then I got into the tub and slid down into the water. I soaked my sore ankles and legs a while, then I took the washrag and cleaned up. After I washed up I got out and dried off. I went to the wardrobe closet and selected a low cut pink dress with long selves and the Triforce symbol over my right breast. A pink feathery lace ran underneath my breasts. And a crisscross pattern held the back together. I pulled my hair into a bun and went downstairs.

   I lit the candles around the room and the two on the table. Then I went to prepare dinner. I made cooked pork in a cream sauce, with potatoes and cabbage.

Johnel: Excuse me one second I’m going to get some snacks…

 As I made the final preparations I heard a horse come plodding up to the stable. I finished setting the table, put the food out on the table, took my apron off and hurried to the door to greet Link. As he stepped in the door, his eyes looked me up and down. "You look ravishing my love." "I thought about you all day long." Then he reached over, kissed me on the lips, took my hand and led me into the house.


         Once inside he noticed the candles and the food on the table. "Honey, what is with the candles, and the food setting?" I looked into his dark blue eyes and smiled. "I just wanted to surprise you with a romantic dinner after you worked hard all day." I said sweetly. His smile widened as he took me into his arms. "It's just lovely my sweet, thank you my love." He kissed me again, then gestured me for me to sit at the table. He pushed in my chair before seating himself. After we served ourselves, I looked up from my food and at him.

Johnel:*Comes in with a bucket of popcorn*… and I’m back.

          "So honey, how was your day?" After he swallowed a bite of food he answered. "The King and I had a discussion about updating defensive moves among the army." "So I spent the entire day teaching new sword techniques and defense strategies among the men." I cocked my head at Link. "Does the King think that a war is brewing?"

Johnel: With who? No seriously is there any other kingdoms anywhere near here?

I asked. "No, but he wants to be prepared in the even that one does and men have to be sent in." "Link honey, I did watch you today until I started not to feel well." I said as I put my fork down. Link's eyes grew a worried look in them. "How do you feel now sweet heart?" He asked concerned. "I feel much better now." "I went to see the castle's healer." Then there was a long pause before Link broke the silence. "Are you ok my love?" Link questioned. "Link my love, I have something to tell you." I said looking into his eyes.


         Just then Lilly and Navi flew into the room. Lilly flew up to my ear. "Jen, did you tell him yet?" "Tell him what?" Navi chimed in. "Link my love, we are going to have a baby." I finally said. The next thing I heard was a clank of silverware hitting his plate. His eyes grew as big as saucers as he looked at me. "You mean I'm going to be a father?" He said as a look of pure shock came across his face. I nodded yes.

Johnel:*As Fic!Link* I want a divorce.

 "Oh Jen congratulations, I had no idea you were pregnant." Navi added. Link then leapt out of his chair, ran over to me, lifted me up and took me into his arms. He stared deeply into my eyes then kissed me passionately. "I love you Jen." "I cannot believe that I'm going to be a father."

Johnel: Seriously it isn’t that hard to knock someone up stop acting like it took the planets aligning for this to happen.

Excitement filled Link's eyes. Then he placed a hand on my belly. "How far along are you?" Link asked with excitement. "The healer said I was two months along." I replied. "I still cannot believe it." "I'm going to be a daddy." Link added.


         Link and I held each other for a long time. We were happy that we were going to have a baby. Excitement filled us both. I laid my head against Link's chest, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Lilly and Navi smiling in a way of saying, "Awe isn't that beautiful." I felt a rush of happiness run through me. I knew now that I was going to be complete. I had Link and now I was going to have his baby. Link was now going to have that child he always wanted. We were truly blessed.

Johnel: Honestly this chick I think has less independent thought running through her head than Bella Swan.

         The next few days were not easy. The morning sickness hit when I got up in the morning and the dizziness would hit by mid afternoon. With Link's duties at the castle he was not able to remain at home with me like he wanted to. But he left Navi and Lilly to watch over me. Link did worry about me while he was away, but he knew that Lilly and Navi would take care of me.

Johnel: Yes little floating balls  of light with wings can really help if you got attacked by Stalfos.

         It was the hottest part of the summer. About midday some of the villagers from Kakaraio village would gather into Lake Hylia. Inside the Lost Woods it was a little cooler, however sometimes the humidity would make going outside unbearable.


         From time to time I would got to the castle and visit with Princess Zelda or to watch Link in the practice yards, but during the days that it was too hot, I would remain home. And on the days Link stayed home we ourselves would go to Lake Hylia to cool off.

Johnel: Glad the chapters almost over I’ve already wasted my Nostalgia Critic clip for the month.

         After the hot months, in early fall Link and I talked about taking our relationship beyond our vows.

Johnel: How by becoming the thing with two heads?

We wanted to bond ourselves together further then our marriage had. We found out that there was a Monastery just beyond Gerudo Valley where the Monks there preformed Pagan Bonding Ceremonies.

Johnel: I’d freak out at the stupidity of that sentence but I’ve read ahead and I’m going to let my rage simmer for a bit.

These rituals were preformed to bond married couples further then their marriage vows. Link and I decided that we meant so much to each other that we wanted to do it together.

Johnel: Well that is all for this part I’m going to go see if Even will let me watch him dissect that Mary-Sue who broke in.*Leaves*


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