Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Quest for Proper Spelling Part 2: Avada Kedavra


???: The  Pocket Dimension Theater a place where the worst of fanfiction is riffed to prevent their vile darkness from poisoning the multiverse. A lone protector face hidden in secret…

Ienzo:*Warps in* What are you doing?

Johnel: I preforming a monologue.

Ienzo:*Rubs his temples* Why would you be doing that?

Johnel: For the audience. So what made you decide to join me again?

Ienzo: Let’s just say a Mary Sue was accidently brought over and I have to be out of the room while Even dissects it. Apparently the creatures grow stronger when objects of their “affections” are in sight.

In the creepy lair of the dark ones their

Johnel: You know I think this is the first time I’ve seen someone use “their” instead of “there”.

Ienzo: May whatever deities watch over us have mercy.

 was Sauron from lord of the rings, voledomor from the harrpotter and also Morded and some evil ghost and ther was eben some skelton

Johnel: Couldn’t even think of more than three villain names could you?

and also a Lic King from Wrodl fo Warcraf. They sat around a tabel maked from skul of their enemy. "We must kill harry" said Voldermor. "Yes and also we must kil King Aurthr because he has many nights

Johnel: 1001 Arabian nights to be precise.

 that coud come and harm us" agree Morded. Sauron smash the tabel with iron glove and said "We mist also stop frodo and sam and gandalt and all those from destroying the ring becayse the ring will destroy all of us."

Ienzo: I’m sure the idiot that wrote this didn’t realize that makes no logical sense. Why stop someone from destroying something you said could harm you?

 Lick King said "I agree" and the evil skeleon and ghost roared with agreement. Suddeny a dark man appered in the dorway of the room. It was a man made of blood.

Johnel: That just seems really stupid when you say it out loud.

 He said "Evil lord, we have knews of the Aurthr and harry poter! I saw them go into dark creep castel

Johnel: Why does Dark Creep Castle sound like a brothel for Ann Rice fans?

Ienzo: Should I dare ask what makes you come to that conclusion?

Johnel: You tell me. Apparently you had quite the successful career in a brothel as Zexion.

Ienzo:

 at night yesterday" Voldemor utterd an evil lauf and said "Ha ha ha! We will attack them tonite!" And so bunch of skeleton and ghsot and also ringwrath and death feeder from harry potter went to find the castel and attack Aurthur and harry.

Johnel: So they are going to attack them with a bunch of mooks from a Castlevania game?

As Aurthr, lancelto and the nights and harry sat inside the castle and talk they herd a knock at the windo. Aurthr peered out of door and saw a man in a hat with a whip.

Johnel: Someone must of called a Belmont in to fight the drak ones.

 It was indian jones! "Hello indian Jones"

Johnel: Or Harrison Ford’s clone

Aurthr said out of window. "Hello aurthr" said indian jones. "I have hard

Johnel: Please there is a child and a sexually repressed researcher sir!

Iezno: What reser…. oh very funny you simplistic asshole.

ther was a holey grail in here!" "Yes there is but it is also golbet of fire from harry potter book" "Oh ok" "We could use your jelp

Iezno: Jelp?

Johnel: A Jeep made of jelly perhaps?

 to stop the dark ones from getting it because if tey do they wil destroy the wrold" "Ok I will help" said indian jones and he cane and sat round the table with the rest of them. "So we must make a plan to stop the drak ones and their evil plot to kill all the peopel on world" "Yes" replid harry as he scrated his scar in thought. Indian jones brougt a crystal skull form his pocket and said "This skul is magicl.

Johnel: No it is an alien’s skull. Did you even watch the fourth movie?

Ienzo: Why did you?

Johnel: … You win this round pretty boy.

 It can help us to destroy the dark ones" "Good idea" said Aurthr. So they made a pln to use the crystal skul to stop Voldemor and the rest of the drak ones from their evil plot to destroy the wrodl.

So Aurthr indian jones and harry potter and also lancelt spent the night at the old creep castel. They all went to sleep but suddenly a noise woke them up. indian Jones look out of window and saw a army of skeleton ghost

Johnel:

 and death feeder and ringwrath led by the man made of blood. "Gasp" he cried and told the others what he had sawn. "Quick get your wepons"

Johnel: *Readies a Brute Shot*

Iezno: Where did you even get that?

Johnel: Let’s just say a lot of people needed some cash to get their houses back in 2553.

said Aurthr so they got their weaons ready. Aurthr had exaclibur harry had a wand and indian Jones wipped a pistol out of his pocket with his whip and put it into his hand and then he loded it with bullet.

Johnel:*In a bad Russian accent* No man smarter than bullet.

Lancelt went downstair to get the other nights to help. Indian jones fired bullets at the skeletos and they fell down ded.

Ienzo: Yes for obviously a creature of living bone can be destroyed by handgun bullets.

Harry did a spell and some ghost were destroyed and then Aurthur jumps throu the window and used exalibur to kil some of the death dealer.

Johnel: Apparently the death feeders were happy to just eat their own fallen allies.

The lead death deeler was lucis malfoy. He tried to do a avadra kadabra

Johnel:*Sings* Avada Kedavra!

Ienzo:*Sings* What a wonderful phrase!

Johnel:*Sings* Avada Kedavra!

Ienzo:*Sings* Ain’t no passing craze!

Johnel:*Sings* It means I’m killing

Ienzo:*Sings* Mudbloods, House Elves, or Slaves!

Both:*Singing* It’s our problem freeeeee philosophy! Avada Kedavra!

Johnel: So…

Ienzo:*Smacks with Lexicon* I’m half Disney it curses me to join in song numbers.

spell but then Aurthur stab him with xcalibur and the blood poored down his front and robes. He screamed "Ah ah" but Aurtur did not stop stabing him until he fell down on the flor ded.

Johnel: Anticlimaxes it is a way of life.

 Then the ringwrath and the man mad

Johnel:*As Man of Blood* Rawr I’m mad!

 of blood and some ghost that were not killed by harry spell ran away back to the dark ones secret lar to tell what had happed. "I am sorry drak ones but we coud not stop them they were too powerrful for lucicus and his death deelers." "What!" yelled Suaron and the lick king and they stood up in anger. "I am sorry" said the man made of blood with a pathefic voice but they did not listen. "Next tim

Johnel: Tim! How could you give your girth to evil!

 we must make sure we defet them" "Yeah" agreed Vodlermor.

Johnel: So Ienzo going to join for the next part.

Ienzo: On three conditions. One I get to run a little experiment of unspecified type using the theater, two you are to make Lea riff on a story of my choosing, and three you will never tell anyone I sang or I will kill you.

Johnel:*Smiles brightly* Okay see you then!

Ienzo: I loathe you. *leaves*

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